Ron, Andrew 13, Stephanie,
Alice 16, Jennifer 9,,
The Skibas are an
active part of the SBC family, and Stephanie is the daughter of Pastor Wayne
and Bev Lehsten.
This page has been created to keep their
prayer partners updated on the family prayer requests and as a way for them to
easily communicate to friends and family their needs, both as they prepare for
Stephanie's surgery and in the post surgery treatment. If you'd like to
drop Stephanie and her family a note the
email address is
sskiba@cox.net.
The most current entries come first, and
praise and prayer requests are highlighted
Office Depot
Coupons
-----------------------------------
December 24,
2009
Merry Christmas to all!! As I type this I am so thankful
for the past year. It was extremely difficult, in many ways harder than when I
was actually going through cancer treatment. But I continue to learn how to
find the JOY in all circumstances. Doesn't mean I like or even agree with these
trials - but there is good to be found.
My surgery went fine on Monday. Apparently they had me down as an add-on.
What? I had scheduled this surgery 3 weeks prior to the date! Oh well! Mom and
I got to the hospital about 45 minutes early and they rushed me back.
Everything was going at a pace faster than I would have chosen. It is a busy
time of year for surgeries b/c kids are off of school and adults can take time
off as well. Also, can you say deductible? That's why I was trying to get it
done even though I know I'll meet my deductible next year anyway.
The nurse had trouble with my iv - which is always an area of stress for me.
Thankfully the anesthesiologist saved the line for her. After that it was
smooooooth sailing. I woke up & they shipped me out. The nurse said I could
leave early because I was doing so well. Overachiever that I am!! Anyway, the
ride home was uneventful and I am so thankful mom could be with me. Dad
entertained the kids. I don't know what I would do without him either!! Ron got
off of work early to cover the evening shift. The problem is that they just
think I'm fine when I need to rest! We're still working on that but I hope they
don't have to take care of me again. Everyone was in our room watching a movie,
squirming, giggling, and eventually an argument would erupt here & there. I was
exhausted!! Had to clear the room for quiet.
Tuesday I was groggy but worked from home. Today I feel great. This is my
third Christmas since my diagnosis. The first I had just finished Chemo and was
ready to start radiation. The second I was about nine month out from treatment
and this year I am celebrating putting my last surgery behind me. It has been a
longer road than I thought. But I have learned so much about myself, my family,
and people in general.
I have learned that kindness comes in basic form and it can bring you to tears.
A nurse just taking a second to look you in the eye, a yoga teacher saying they
missed you in class, or a friend encouraging you to work harder. I have learned
how to let go and that's been really hard. In some areas I'm still working on
that. Letting go of some dreams, expectations, and in a couple instances,
people. But you know - I am starting this new year carrying a lighter pack.
What has this past year shown you?
I come back to thankfulness. Another year, another Christmas. Most importantly
I am thankful for another year with my family. I plan on many more but there
was a time that I wasn't sure. When I was first diagnosed my first prayer was
to live long enough to see my children grow up. I've kind of expanded that
prayer now!! My dad had a bout with severe pain and I am very grateful the
doctors figured that one out. He is back to himself and I can't keep up with
him again! The list goes on and on. Think about some of the things you are
grateful for today. Sometimes it may seem trivial - like loving the AZ winter
weather or it could be huge. In the end I think it's just important to
acknowledge those things outside yourself that are in your life. Things you
don't deserve but are a gift.
Thank you, as always, for keeping my family in your prayers. Truly, truly I
believe in my heart that prayer can move mountains. May you have a safe,
peaceful Christmas!
-----------------------------------
December 21,
2009
It's been awhile and I cannot believe that
Christmas is this week!! Our family has continued on the upswing - everyone
has been healthy and happy. Today I am having the last surgery for my
reconstruction. My friend said "Aren't you excited?" And I had to answer
that I happy is not the word I would use to describe how I feel at this
point. Ambivalent would be a better choice. It's the next step in the long
process. That's it. I've asked people to pray that the recovery is as short
and painless as the doctor promised. I've discovered how often things do not
go as planned!
My mom has helped me be prepared for Christmas.
We shortened our lists and pared down the presents even more so shopping was
really a breeze. I tend to be a gift giver so it kills me not to give more
gifts! Maybe I have learned to spread them out a little more throughout the
year. So my present are wrapped and meals are planned.
How is your Christmas Season going? Are you
stressed, rushed, feeling overwhelmed? I want to encourage you to just stop
and take time to really relax. Take deep breaths and press the pause button
in your mind. Sometimes I go from making one list to another in my head.
I've really been working on not multitasking as much. The other day my mom
and I got all my shopping done in a couple hours. We stopped at Starbucks
after our last stop at Target. She asked if we should drink it there or take
it to go. Well, instinctively, I wanted to say - let's go! But instead I
consciously said we should sit down and sip it. You know what? A woman came
in about five minutes later and we had the most lovely conversation with her.
We would have missed that if we were just "head down, plodding forward."
Please don't miss out on the things God wants you to see or the conversations
He wants you to have!
I will try to post tomorrow after surgery. It's
not supposed to be a big deal but I am going under anesthesia. Oh, did I
mention that an iv is involved? Good night, I hate that!! Please pray for my
family as they once again have to pick up the slack. They are extremely
wonderful and I love them dearly!
-----------------------------------
November 03,
2009
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one
another and build up each other, as indeed you are doing.
We had a wonderful time in Coronado! It was just
what everyone needed. So much time and energy has been taken in the care and
keeping of me that it was nice to take a deep breath. We stayed right across
the street from the Hotel Del. It was a nicer place but my kids missed having
a kitchen and cooking our own food. One night Jenny said "I'm dreaming of
broccoli!" We took walks & hung out by the ocean. The adults went to a fun
play about Handel's Messiah. Very fun night! Andrew brought his longboard so
he was occupied cruising up and down the sidewalks. Alice was engrossed in a
series of books she brought along. Jenny, well, she finds entertainment where
ever she goes!! There truly is something healing about the ocean air. Don't
you think??
Things have been good since we got back. Dr. M.
feels that I am healing nicely. I'm going to start back to yoga this week.
Also got signed up for all the upcoming classes at the Piper Center. That
place is amazing and not just if you've had cancer. There's a wealth of
preventative information there as well. I've roped a couple friends into
attending some of the events with me. We've been trying to get to the gym as
a family but you all know how hard that can be. The kids seem to need to be
somewhere every night! It was easier to do during the summer.
The really great news is that I had my bone scan
and CT scan yesterday. By the grace of God I got the secretary for my
oncologist in the afternoon. I had called to ask about some pains I was
having. Usually it goes right to voicemail and they are terrible about
calling back.) She said she had the results of the test right there and that
R. had just signed off on them. How fortunate for me!! Anyway, everything
looks fine. No new malignancy. Just what I want to hear. I have an
appointment November 13th to go over everything but it's nice to know
beforehand. Yippee! There is still the spot on my lung but there's not been
a change in that for over 2 years.
My job at home continues to go really, really
well. I like working for Rick. It's been hard to get to the Real Estate
office. There is some filing, etc that I need to do. Also need to meet my
new broker. I still just miss Bill. He was such a driving force and
encouragement to me. I know many of you are feeling this loss too. His death
really took the wind out of my sails.
Oh, Alice got a job bussing tables at the
restaurant! She's such a trouper - loves it. She works on the weekends and
is having a blast. She comes home and starts telling tales. It's awesome.
Plus, a big help since she's looking at colleges! Next year will be her last
at Basis.
Quick prayer request - Ron will probably have to
have shoulder surgery. We are really trying to get it done before the end of
the year since we've met our deductible. (Even though we are sure to meet it
again next year!) He has severe arthritis in both shoulders. It's taken a
long time to get this train moving. Please pray that he gets some
answers soon. He had an MRI last week and scheduled a follow up with the
surgeon for next week. We
are hoping that he will be a candidate for the less invasive surgery since
he's so "young!" He cannot lift his arms above his shoulders and is in quite
a bit of pain. They will do one shoulder and then do the other after three
months. We are worried about him being out of work because he doesn't get
sick pay. It's a miracle that we've gotten by financially so far.
Thanks to those who knew and prayed about the
tests I had done yesterday. You know I always go into those with
trepidation...how can I not? And even if the cancer returned I know who I
trust..yet, I'm so grateful and relieved to get a clean report. You can never
take anything for granted. Mom said "That call could change our life." But
isn't that true for everyone? Sometimes a life depends on that call,
sometimes a home or relationship is lost over that call. That's where I think
faith comes in. Because like it or not every one of us will get "that call"
sooner or later. You just have to be prepared. Maybe you've gotten one
recently and are taking baby steps back into life. Maybe you're waiting for
the phone to ring now. I don't know where you are but I do know this -
without my belief that God has a bigger plan for me, without a hope for a
future, that first call July 17, 2009 would have killed me. I have no doubt
about the source of my strength. What about you? I encourage you to take
stock of where you are right now.
I found this in a book called Prayers for Life
that a friend recently gave me -
"Father God, we ask for your protection from the
storms of life. Like rainstorms, the storms that befall us sometimes build
for awhile. Other times, they hit suddenly. But you, O God, are the creator
and the calmer of the storm. May we learn to be grateful both for the storm
that rages and for the One who has it under control."
-----------------------------------
October 06,
2009
Good morning all! Thank you so much for all your
prayers, cards, food, etc. Wow, they all help me make it through!! Surgery
went great. The nurse in the room said "I'm not used to people talking to me
like this.." (Meaning coherent - I wasn't being rude!) They were amazed at
how spunky I was. Out of bed and walking around that night. I was sharing a
room with a woman who didn't want to take her pain meds so I shimmied out of
there pretty quickly. The outpatient center at St. Joseph's has six room
where people can stay if necessary after surgery. No overnight visitors are
allowed. They kicked Ron & mom out at 8 p.m. This made for a long night!!
Much more comfortable at the Lehsten homestead. I stayed over there until
Monday. Truly amazed about the way I felt. Very little pain, able to sleep
in comfortable positions. Dr. M did not bind me up and that probably
liberated me a bunch. I only have one drain which is also a blessing. The
"donor site" (my back) looks fine too and I don't have much pain from there
either. Mostly discomfort. So, the first week went really well. I am up and
around but still very tired and weak.
This week I have been dealing with a lot of
emotional issues. They are bound to catch up at some point I suppose! I just
have a case of the big, old blues. Maybe it's because the euphoria of how
little pain I am in wore off and well, surgery is surgery and it stinks.
Having even one drain drags me down! I have to always watch that it doesn't
snag on anything and over all it makes me feel ever so unattractive! Hopefully
it will come out on Friday. That is a mixed blessing as well. Maybe you
remember the drain Dr. F. took out way back a the beginning. Never have I
felt such searing pain. However, knowledge is power and I'll make good use of
my pain meds when the time comes. I'm trying to get my happy back but
probably just need to realize it's gonna take some time. A nice, long, hot
shower would go a long way too but those are not allowed right now either. I
know in two weeks I'll feel differently.
Now I'll tell you the good news - Dr. M changed
his mind and said that we can make the trip to Coronado. We've made some
adjustments but will be leaving a week from Wednesday! We'll be gone
Wednesday to Sunday so it's a bit shorter than normal. Mom and Dad also
thought we should change location too. We're staying at a hotel closer to the
Del. It's hard for me to get super excited about it but - see prior paragraph
(!) - I know that Coronado feeds my soul. Once Wednesday morning comes and we
are getting on the plane...I know the giddiness will come!! Here's the fun
part - mom and I are flying again. It's something we don't really talk about
with the men - ha! But somehow we've finagled that she & I fly while they
drive with the kids. Shhhhh! Ah, our men are great. A long car trip would be
hard on me right now and mom hates the freeways. So it's a win/win. For her
and I at least! The kids are ready to get out of town. It's hard for them to
have a sick momma- even though 2 are teens. Carla Pope has offered to take
both dogs which makes me think she's a saint!
That's all I've got for now. I cannot wait for
the day I can write with an abundance of exclamation points. Today's just not
the day though. I'll
leave you with a quote I've been repeating to myself. It's from Beth Moore's
Believing God study.
I am freed to know that my God is huge,
and my God is able. So I know if I don’t
get what I’ve asked from Him,
If I’ll cooperate,
I’ll get something bigger.
I know that a greater
yes
is in progress.
-----------------------------------
September 23rd,
2009 - Surgery Day
Papa Wayne asked me to let you all know how much they
appreciate the prayers for the Skiba and Lehsten families. Stephanie is out of
surgery, and the doctor told him that the surgery went extremely well, and that
he was pleased. She'll be in the hospital tonight - and possibly tomorrow -
but is doing well in recovery, and will be heading to her room shortly
-----------------------------------
September 22,
2009
I was waiting
until my pre-op appointment to write again. Today mom and I went in at 9:50
to meet with Dr. M regarding my surgery tomorrow. He entered the room and
said "We may have a problem and you may not be having surgery tomorrow." Ummm,
what?! Long story short - it cannot be done in a surgery center and that's
where his staff had mistakenly scheduled it. He took full responsibility and
apologized - which I thought was really cool. He said we'd take pictures and
go over the surgery but I needed to be prepared to reschedule. Only minutes
later the front desk person knocked and said she got me into St. Joe's. She
rearranged his other patients as well. Yipppeeee! The biggest relief was
that he said I would be in the hospital at least over night. Glory, glory
Hallelujah!! I don't want to pick up any super bug but it is so calming to me
to know that at least the first night I will be admitted. It also lifts the
burden off of my family. And it was so awful coming home from the surgery in
March. When I told Valerie she said "I feel like a concrete block has been
lifted from my chest!" My friends are so sweet to carry my concerns like that
- aren't you??!! Today I have been picking up prescriptions and getting
completely ready for tomorrow. I am going to go to 4:30 yoga and am really
excited about that! Dr. M said a manicure was out since they would just take
it off in the O.R. Oh well! He said I may be in the hospital for up to three
days.
Please pray that everything exceeds expectations
tomorrow. There is a slim chance that the muscle could be rejected. Pray my
body responds well and there aren't any surprises! My children are holding up
well but there has been a certain amount of tension around the house. I have
been in high gear to get everything organized and clean. Friday is payday so
I've written all the checks for the bills out, stamped them and given them to
mom to mail. She has a list of several things to do! I've taken all my
button down pj's out so they are easily accessible. I won't be able to raise
my arms. My wonderful Mavis has arranged for meals to be brought to us and my
parents group is also bringing meals. It's all coming together!! Ron and Dad
are going to the men's retreat this weekend. Pray for safety for them. The
girls were going to go to Flagstaff to see Ron's parents but that didn't work
out so they'll stay with me & Andrew at mom's house. I'm sure we will have a
couple movie marathons!! My follow-up appointment is on Tuesday. Wow, that
seems like ages from now!
The bad news that mom & I heard today was that
our annual trip to Coronado will be postponed. Boo-hoo. We go every year
during the kid's Fall break. He said that I won't be well enough for travel.
When I told my dad he said "Well, he doesn't know you!!" This is true but mom
says we have to obey. bummer! The kid's are going to be so disappointed
because we have only missed one year in 17. (That was the year Andrew was
born and he was SOOO colicky!) Hmmm, is there a Thanksgiving trip to Disney
in our future??!
Well, time to tie up all my loose ends around
here. I am so grateful to all of you for seeing me through this leg of the
trail. Someone ?? will be posting an update tomorrow or Thursday. This has
been a very hard couple of months for me. I woke up his morning feeling
pretty good about things. There was a change in my heart. Then I felt even
more relief after my appointment this morning. Thank you, thank you for
caring about me.
-----------------------------------
September 14,
2009
Greetings and Salutations!
I have received several messages lately that some
of you are not pleased that I haven't updated in awhile. There has been a lot
going on! My job with Rick has been going really, really well. We are both
happy with the transition and the paycheck has definitely helped pay the
medical bills. Although with two teenagers in the house now....much of it
seems to go to them for their various activities! Anyway, this job has worked
into my schedule well and it's great being able to work completely from home.
This summer held a lot of grief for us. Many of
you in town know that Bill died after a four month battle with cancer. This
affected me deeply on several different levels. I cannot even begin to
describe how much he meant to me as a boss, father figure, and mentor. He was
just amazing and I went to him for a lot of counsel. I will greatly miss our
conversations and his stories. We have a new broker at the office but I find
it very difficult to go there. Too, too sad. That is why, in part, I
discontinued writing. Bill was blessed with a wonderful wife who I also hold
very dear. She has always been a cheerleader for me. His daughter Ginger has
done such a great job getting the new broker and also getting the office in
order. Strong, strong people those Millers! Not a day goes by that I don't
hear his voice in my head or think something he said to me.
School started off with a bang. Andrew is at
Desert Mountain and loves, loves, loves it! He got a girlfriend over the
summer and we like her a lot. She's very sweet. He also still enjoys his
group at church. Andrew has become quite the leader. Often we find our house
filled with kids on Friday nights. This past Saturday afternoon I walked
downstairs and there were seven in my living room. What?! They were have a
"pre-party" before a birthday party. It was so cute - they were filming a
video message for the Birthday girls (twins). Alice cannot imagine being
anywhere but Basis. She loves her close knit group of friends. We did go
tour Grand Canyon State University this summer. It was really good for her to
see what a college looked like and meet with the dean. Jennifer is at
Cheyenne...by a thread! She originally did not get the teacher we had hoped -
and we thought he was going to request her as well. So, she was very
disappointed when she wasn't in his class. However, a short email to him made
everything okay! I said "Dear Mr. B - I hope you had a nice relaxing summer.
WHAT HAPPENED?!" Hee-hee. He wrote back right away and said he got her
switched & he didn't have to beg or anything. Yea - order restored. Andrew
was in his class for 5th grade as well. So he has history with the Skiba's.
We seem to have a good routine going right now.
Yesterday I took quite a spill. Ron and I were
walking the dogs and - well, let's just say there was a mishap. There's a
back story I won't go into here. I tripped getting back on the curb. Thought
I broke my hand but it is only a bad sprain. My leg is chewed up as well. We
went to the Urgent Care a couple hours later just to make sure it wasn't
broken. The doctor said "you're a mess." ha-ha I replied "Not half the mess
I'm gonna be in a week!" (More on that later.) Anyway, it turns out the
Urgent Care doc went to High School with my plastic surgeon! He has so many
nice things to say about Dr. M. Said he did good work, was a nice man, etc.
That's what I needed to hear. So they sent me home bandaged & braced.
Now the rest of the story....I am scheduled to
have surgery again on September 23rd. It's going to be a big deal and I'm
feeling really "eeh" about it. It's the next step and I am trying to just let
any fear, disappointed, etc. go. Basically, the reconstruction on the
radiated side of my chest did not work. The expander is pushing against my
ribs instead of going the other way. The left side went well. Last week Dr.
M gave us three alternatives and I chose surgery. The other two involved
prosthetics or nothing. He didn't push us any way but after we made the
decision he did say that he feels I'll be happy about it in the end. Breathe,
breathe. So, it is in a surgery center - what?! - no overnight stay - what?!
- coming home with 2 drains - what?! La,la,la,la,la! About a 6-8 week
recovery. Oh, for crying out loud!! Rick said "do you really want to do
this?" and I said "No, but I don't want to not do it either." You know? I
tried the least invasive and it didn't work. Kind of wish I knew sooner that
this was going to be the alternative but - it is what it is. Had a great
conversation with Dr. M. during my visit. He goes to our church and talks so
lovingly about his wife. It's awesome! He told Ron and I a story about Bill
and Susan. He talked for about 10 minutes about how instrumental Susan was in
their move!! I love doctors who are human!!
Obviously my prayer request is for safety during
this surgery. My body has been through a lot. I have worked hard with diet
and exercise and feel like I'm in good shape. (Not counting what happened
Sunday!) But there will be an incision across my back and then the obvious
frontal discomfort. He will put an implant on the left side so that shouldn't
be too bad. I hate, hate, hate drains. My parents will be taking on a lot of
responsibility with the kids. Pray for strength and health for them. And of
course, my patient, steadfast Ron! He's got to keep working and providing for
us. It's hard to go into work knowing there's so much going on at home. I'm
not really sure how to ask for prayer for him. Does that make sense? I
should ask him. We just have to stay the course!! He is so helpful with
keeping the house in order. My dear friend Mavis is putting a list together
of people to help with meals.
That's it in a nutshell. I haven't been sleeping
well lately. So often I am able to find the joy and peace in my life. During
the day I'm fine but I've been waking with anxiety attacks. I've been trying
to learn how to shut my mind off but it's just a lot. My heart is sad right
now and that taints thing a bit.
I wish I had something inspirational to say but I
don't. Just putting my faith in God and one foot in front of the other. I'm
weary.
------------------------------------
July 13,
2009
It's been awhile - lots going on in the summer
time!
I am up early with a
long laundry list of things to do! There's a lot going on at the Skiba
house! Which is nice but a lot to keep in order. My new job is going
really, really well. Our busiest months are December and June because so
many people need their CEU courses to renew their licenses. And even though
people have two years to do it...many wait until the last minute. I was
extremely busy at the end of June and then it carried over into July. It
was a great way to learn everything though and I did well. Phew!
Andrew was not able to go on the Hopi missions
trip because he had walking pneumonia. It was really bad and he lost a
bunch of weight off of his already slight frame! We were worried there that
he wasn't showing any progress in getting well. However, it seems he's
taken a turn for the better. He's started eating & being able to keep it
down at least. Alice left for Argentina on Friday. I've heard from her a
couple times on facebook. Boy, that's really cool. It's wonderful to get
updates as she's there! She is having a good time and is enjoying her host
family. They have several children. Mom, Jenny and I leave for Disneyland
tomorrow morning at 5 a.m. We'll be on a roller coaster in no time at all!!
Mom felt that everyone else was off on an adventure and the three of us
didn't have any plans. We went over several scenarios but once she
mentioned Disney..well, you know I was hooked! Jenny is too excited! We
will be back on Friday and the guys leave Saturday for their Wyoming trip.
I told you there was a lot going on around here! Let me tell you - it's a
lot more fun than trying to keep doctor appointments straight!
Tomorrow is the 2 year anniversary of finding
my tumor. It makes me a little weepy to tell you the truth. Our world was
turned upside down that week. Maybe it's because I didn't feel "sick" until
I started chemo. Although the mastectomy wasn't any fun either. It's still
a lot to wrap my brain around. Yet, I see how far I've come. The Piper
Center is my friend now instead of a constant reminder of my diagnosis. I'm
up there almost every day taking classes. I'm working with a personal
trainer three times a week and a nutritionist twice a month. Safeway gave
them a grant that funded 20 people so it's a completely free program for
us. That has been really cool. Then I still take yoga twice a week and go
to nutritional classes about once a month. They offer so many great things
there. I am lucky to live so close to this facility!
I'm feeling good. My energy level is improving
a lot. I'm able to stay up later and don't feel the drastic drops in energy
quite as much. Still trying to lose some weight. I've dropped a bunch but
can't seem to lose that last bit - hovering! Ugh! But that's something I'm
really working on with the nutritionist. She's so awesome! Well, mostly
I think that because she worked chips into my diet! She's realistic but
encourages me to make good choices. I have always loved to exercise so it
hasn't been too much of a problem getting that in. My hair is still super
curly and I don't know what to do with it. Right now I'm pretty much
ignoring it ~ finally able to throw it up into a ponytail. How I longed to
do that last year!
I still go every two weeks to get the saline
injections. Man, when Dr. M. said it was a long process..he wasn't
kidding. Very, very slow. They've gone down to 30 cc's each time instead
of 50cc's. I continue to have a lot of pain on my right side. It's like
shocks of electricity and tugging. Everyone I talk to says they're glad
they did it. Some days I wonder. The left side doesn't give me any trouble
at all. Getting comfortable sleeping is still a problem. I thought I'd
have a little more shape by now. Oh well! I hope it's all done by
December. I'd like to start the year off being done with this part.
Not much else is new. Things are pretty
scheduled so there's not a lot of down time right now. That is something
I'm working on because I need a couple slow days! Yet working from home is
incredibly nice. I can hop in the pool with Jenny or drive them to their
various activities. Plus, the kid's sleep so late ~ half my workday is over
before they get up. (Tulsa is 2 hours ahead and I start around 6 but turn
off my phone at 3.) Speaking of phones, I hear it ringing right now.
Please pray for safety as our family goes in different directions. Pray for
Alice as she's in another country without us! She has already fallen in
love with Argentina. I'll try to be better about the updates ~ thanks for
being patient with me and for keeping us in your prayers!
Time to make the coffee!!
------------------------------------
June 16, 2009
Summer Greetings!
Can you believe we are halfway through June? Yikes! Well,
I've had an interesting couple of weeks. Last week I left my family to go to
Tulsa, OK. My lifelong friend offered me a job and I needed to go there
for training. He has an internet company that offers continuing education
classes. He also does live workshops, etc. There's a lot of information but I
think I'm doing pretty well. The great news is that the job is entirely working
from home! The bad news is that my kids are home on summer break and I'm on the
learning curve! It would have been better if I had my groove before
school let out. Oh well, we don't live in a perfect world - right?!!
Ron did a great job of holding down the fort. Mom & dad
helped out tremendously!! Every day mom would ask me "Guess how many teenagers I
had for lunch & supper today?!" It seems that her house became a popular hang
out. Thankfully she has more patience than I do. My kid's have such wonderful
friends and they aren't much trouble at all. We did have to shun them for the
weekend as Ron set up my home office. Right now, as I write this, I am listening
to 6 of them singing at the top of their lungs from Andrew's room. Oh, I know
someday the house will be too quiet!! The other good thing is that they sleep in
- so I can get a lot of work done from 6-11 in the morning! Please pray that I
learn all of this quickly. It is a bit out of my comfort zone.
Paula, the woman who is training me, can take control of
my computer if she sees I'm making a mistake. It's crazy! We also use the
notepad on the screen to communicate. That part is really awesome! Oh, he got me
a laaptop and it is equipped w/ a webcam. I have Skype!! Holy cannoli, that is
fun! Alice is dying for her cousin Ethan to get online so they can talk. It's
amazing. I'm lucky Sharon doesn't have it because I wouldn't get anything done
at all...mom was worried about my facebook addiction. Ha - watch out! So....a
week in Tulsa.....yeah.
It was a good week. Paula trained me about 8 hours a day.
Then I hung out with Rick & his kids. His mom lives there too and it was fun to
see her again. We've known each other for over 30 years! That's just not right!
:) He's one of the few friends who remembers my sister Jennifer. Rick was my
confidant when she was going through her cancer crud. In fact, he says her
illness changed him. Interesting.
Tomorrow I go to get my "porch lifted!" (My friend loves
calling my visits to the plastic surgeon porch lifting -ha!) I hate it even
though it only takes about 15 minutes. Argh! They are only going to be able to
put 30cc's of saline in instead of 50cc's. But I'd rather go slow anyway. I also
have to start paying a $50 copay every other week. That starts adding up fast.
Our old copay was only $25. I hate changing insurance! Pray I'm done by
December!!
Nothing much else is new. My head is full of information
and lists! Oh, Jenny went to her first performing arts camp last week. She had a
blast and got the part of the Colonel (Elephant) in their performance of The
Jungle Book. The girl is hooked!! I got off the plane and arrived just as they
were beginning. Phew - that was close!!
I hope your summer is going well. The Arizona contingent
is certainly enjoying the relatively cool weather. It's been just beautiful!!
Thanks as always for the encouraging emails, etc. I wanted to give you a quick
update.
Here's a song by Aaron Shust that's been running through
my head:
I am not skilled to understand
I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know that at His right hand
Stands one who is my Savior
My Savior loves, my Savior Lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God He was, My God He is
My God He's always gonna be
Yes, living, dying; let me bring
My strength, my solace from this spring
That He who lives to be my King
Once died to be my Savior
Aren't those great lyrics?! It's comforting to know
that sometimes I don't need to "get it". Sometimes we should let the need for
understanding ride. That's something I've been working on. Letting go of things
my mind wants to chew on, devour. Because often the things I'm fretting over are
out of my control in the first place. And I'm wasting precious time/energy when
I should just let it go.
Time for me to feed the natives. They haven't eaten in an
hour. Don't teenagers eat every sixty minutes??! Good night from the monkey
house!!
------------------------------------
May 29, 2008
Happy Friday! This week was jammed packed for
us. If you've got children in school I bet it was busy for you too.
Summer's here - watch out! Yesterday was spent driving Alice and Andrew
around to different parties. I made sure to declare that this was not
going to be the way I was going to spend my summer vacation! Even if Alice
got her driver's license, she would not have a vehicle to drive. Mom and I
are still sharing a car. That is working out very well but I can't imagine
throwing a teenager into that mix!! Scheduling is going to be of high
importance the next couple of months. My big thing is that I need to know
ahead of time...not 10 minutes before the event begins!
Andrew had his graduation on Tuesday night. It
was held at Greyhawk Golf Club. What happened to graduations in the school
gymnasium?? The beauty of the venue was lost on these 14 year olds. The
parents were invited to view a video montage of the kids through the years
and then the student had dinner & dancing. Andrew said he had a good time.
He is officially now a freshman. Yikes! Safeway has a hiring freeze so he
was disappointed not to get a summer job. He's got an application in to
Chick-Fil-A right now. He is going on a short missions trip to Northern
Arizona in July and on another trip to Wyoming with my dad as well. There
are plans, plans, plans!
Jenny passed 4th grade. It was a bit touchy
there because she was missing 17 assignments. How do you get to the point
where you are missing 17 assignments?? It is too exhausting to explain.
Suffice it to say - there was drama!! Bottom line is that she got them
completed. We are pretty sure we know who she is getting next year. He was
Andrew's 5th grade teacher & he wanted Jenny too. Let's just say he was the
carrot we dangled in front of her all year long. This was a tough nine
months for Jenny academically. She needs a creative teacher. Mr. B. is
just that. We think he's great. Pray our intuition is correct. I don't
know what we'll do if she lands with someone else! (A friend of Jenny's
overheard the two teachers talking so there is little doubt! Sneaky
children!) Jennifer is looking forward to camp this summer and going to the
YMCA.
Alice is a Junior. How did that happen?!
We haven't gotten her grades yet but she felt confidant about her AP tests
and finals. Phew! Next year will be tough but she's prepared. She loves
Basis and her friends there. Alice is going to Argentina in July and we are
so excited about it. Ron and I are jealous because we love that country!
She'll be going with a team from Scottsdale Bible. The Boys and Girls Club
did not hire her and that was a disappointment but she has several jobs
babysitting. We'll see. She also has an application in to Chick-Fil-A. I
probably need to have them follow up on that possibility!!
Please pray for Ron as he has been having a ton
of trouble with his shoulder and pain in his neck. It's been about three
weeks of trying to get tests done, wrestling with the insurance company to
get approval, setting up dr.s appointments. He is getting an MRI done. His
doctor didn't want to just throw him into physical therapy without knowing
exactly what the problem is. We joined the YMCA as a family (they're
running a good special) and I hope exercise will help him. We went every
day the first week and have started back now that our company is gone. By
the way, that's a sight - 5 Skiba's in a row on the treadmills!! Maybe
we'll make a video & put it to music for your enjoyment! Yeah - don't hold
your breath!
Speaking of company.....we had a glorious time
with my cousin Constance and her daughter Mia. Oh, it was fun. Don't you
think that having people visit makes you fall in love with your
surroundings? We went for a long drive all through Cave Creek and then over
to Camelback. They really enjoyed seeing the area. We also went to the
botanical garden and saw the exhibit of Dale Chihuly. We went in the
afternoon so we got to see the sculptures light up as night fell.
Beautiful!! Mia took some great pictures. I also had a little coffee time
at my house so that some of my girlfriends could meet my cousins. Early
Tuesday morning my mom & I drove to our favorite bakery in Cave Creek to get
fresh scones. Yummy! It's called Big Buns Bakery and it's awesome. Check
it out if you live here in the Valley. We had tons of wonderful
conversation and time by the pool. It was hard to let them go home.
My pain has decreased and I'm thankful for
that. I am finding more comfortable positions to sleep in. This coming
Wednesday I have to go for an injection. It's been three weeks. They gave
me a break because of a scheduling issue they had. Also, it's going to
start getting uncomfortable now that my skin is stretching.
Please pray I don't get discouraged. It's a long process and I need
to not get impatient or weary!! Working out at the YMCA has helped my
energy level. I really believe that movement is key in most recovery
situations. Even tiny or slow movement is better than nothing. It helps
you physically and mentally. Plow through it baby, plow through! That's my
motto these days.
Well, that's all for now. I wanted to give a
quick update. Happy summer - drink lots of water!!
------------------------------------
May 18,
2009
Greeting to all! Sorry I
haven't been on top of this blog. My mom blames my addiction to Facebook. And
she's probably right - but it's also because I haven't had a lot of time alone.
Alice's school schedule has been all over the board due to finals and AP tests.
Poor thing! So you need to know that I'm doing this one under a bit of duress.
My mom has threatened to "friend" me on Facebook if I don't get it done. See
how she is?!! Although her threat is a little hollow - like she doesn't know
what I think, etc. Anyway, apparently there have been concerns from others that
I haven't posted. My apologies!
What's new pussycat? Well, it
was an eventful week last week but I'll start with my Rachael visit on May 8th.
Ron and I had a great visit with her. She didn't freak me out at all! Yipppeee!
Every thing looks good. And the spots on my lungs have NOT returned.
Praise God!
(Special thanks to Sherrie for taking on that load for me all those many months
ago - your prayers were heard!) Also, they are now calling the larger "spot" a
scar. Still keeping an eye on it but it looks okay. The tech who did the bone
scan noted that I did really well with my breathing. Do I get a gold star? Uh,
no. Anyway, I do credit the techniques I've learned in yoga for that. The
Piper Center does a really good job helping us deal with stress, etc. Then we
left the appointment happy. Ten minutes later I get a call that they had let me
out of there without getting my blood! I was sooooo close to getting out of
that. They said they'd fax me an order and I could go to Sonora Quest. (I'll be
talking about this in a couple paragraphs!) My next appointment with my
oncologist is in six months.
Hallelujah!
The Relay for Life was the 8th
as well. We had a group from work walking. So, Valerie and I were walking
around the track at midnight. It was gorgeous! We walked about 4 miles. I
never thought that I'd be able to "embrace" this part of my cancer but you know,
it's okay. I had on my little survivor shirt and raised a little money. It's
all good. Saturday morning my mom and I spoke at a Mother/Daughter Lunch which
was held at a nearby church. They had such a nice gathering planned. It went
really well. Mom talked about how we show the love of God to our daughters
through the seasons of their lives. I piped in a couple of times with stories
of how my mom did this in my life. Now I have a new, fun memory with my mom!
Did you have a good Mother's
Day? I certainly know some awesome ones! Hopefully the ones you love made you
feel special and honored. I had to work in the morning but got off around
noon. Then we went over to my parent’s house. Mom made brisket & potato
salad. Deliciousness!!! It was a good day for us.
Last week I went to the lab to
get my blood drawn. No big deal, right? Well, I've been having some anxiety
about it. About two weeks ago I left the lab after attempting to get blood
drawn from my physical. They had trouble and I spoke up and said "You know, I
think we're going to do this another day" and out I walked. It was actually
pretty empowering! Last Wednesday I thought I'd try again. On the way over I
sang songs and had a long talk with myself. Apparently, I don't listen to
myself either! It was all good - I got there early so they were fresh - no
prodding, etc. I told the woman at the front that I was a hard stick and I
wanted the best person to work on me.....laid the ground rules. Yea, it didn't
work. The woman who attempted to take my blood was really, really nice. She
took a long time looking for a vein. She tried up by my elbow but missed.
Yikes! Finally I said to take it from the top of my hand. It's more painful
but better than getting stuck a bunch of times. Okay, it's cool. She goes out
to get another needle but when she gets back in I'm as white as a ghost. The
room is spinning and I'm fighting not to faint! She tried to pat me down with
wet towels but nothing worked - dizzy, dizzy girl. After a bit we walked down
the hall so I could lay down. Long story short - she eventually got the five
vials she needed. I was not going to come back!!
Wednesday afternoon mom took
me to the plastic surgeon's office for my fill. They put 50cc's on each side.
Veronica said that we may only be able to do that one more time. Then they'll
go down to 30cc's. My skin is doing okay (miracle!) but it's going to start
stretching soon. I told her to take as long as she wants - I'm not in a hurry.
Mom and I have nice conversations with her while a needle is sticking into my
chest!! After the visit we went to drop off a care package at Good Sam's. Do
you know what I found out? Of course you don't. My plastic surgeon's wife went
through Susan Miller's Just Moved class at Scottsdale Bible! How cool is
that?! It comforts me. One of his office people told me that he was a
Christian - kind of randomly. But saying someone is a Christian can mean a
couple different things! I have a couple new questions to ask him at our next
visit. Don't you love how I take advantage of my appointments? Sometime
doctors need to go down bunny trails too! I'm more than happy to blaze the
trail!!
The reconstruction continues
to be a big bummer in terms of pain. But it is what it is. I need to lean into
it and not let it bring me down. Also, I'm having pain in my right hand. They
took the lymph nodes out of that side so I'm always concerned with getting
lympodema in that arm. Hopefully, this isn't the problem. Yesterday I noticed
some swelling where the pain originates. Not a big deal but I should probably
get it checked out.
What's next? My beloved
cousin is coming for a visit next week with her daughter. I'm beside myself
with excitement. She hasn't been here since my wedding. We have a couple
surprises planned. I suspect a lot of time will be spent in the pool - it's so
hot already. All I know is that a lot of fun will be had by all involved!
Last night at church Jamie
reiterated our church's vision. I'd heard it before but it resonated with me
last night. The vision is
to create a
community of Christ-followers marked by unwavering faith and unconditional
love. That's what I want to be known for - my unwavering faith & ability to
love unconditionally! That's such an awesome thing. If you go around beating
people over the head with your belief system or use it as a weapon I don't think
it's very effective. But I do find it fun when people realize that my faith
runs deep. Many people my age have become disillusioned with the church, been
hurt by well-meaning Christians and some mean spirited ones as well! I
appreciate what our pastor says in his sermons. He humbles himself and admits
that he has struggles in his walk with Christ too. There's nothing that flips
my switch faster than someone who doesn't put themselves in the mix. Right?!
We're all trying to walk the walk. Sometimes we've got a good gait going on and
sometimes we trip over our own feet. But we're all in it!
That's all
I've got for now. School's ending. Are you ready?! I have a feeling this
summer is going to fly by. Our kids are going in different directions. We're
trying to complete the action plan. Thanks for
still praying for my family.
------------------------------------
April 27,
2009
Hi all! My mom states that I have a lot to say
since I haven't posted since April 14th. Yet I really don't feel like I do.
Processing, processing, processing. I'm not sure if I've come to any
conclusions. Hmm.
The 15th I went to see Dr. M because I found a
lump. Not a lump lump - knew it had something to do
with the recent surgery but it hurt pretty bad. His solution? Let's do
"fill" and that should take care of the problem. What?! They had done the
first injection just a week prior to this appointment. I was not prepared.
(I sense a theme here with this surgery!) He was sure of his decision so V.
came in with her needles of fear. My dad was waiting for me in the waiting
area so I'm pretty proud I did this by myself. They probably think I'm a big
baby, but you know what? I don't care. I know it's not a huge deal but you
never know when it might turn into one.....and I don't want to be alone for
it. Been there, done that! That's what I've learned - not to worry about
what the drs. think about how many people I have along with me. If I need an
entourage then I shall have an entourage!! Now I'm being silly. Usually it's
one of my parents and Ron. You never know when you'll need a hand to hold!
So we did the fill and then my dad and I went to visit someone in the
hospital.
My dad and I have such a good time together. You
know? He's easy to be with and a great conversationalist. Very nice
qualities in a dad, I think. I've always known he would drop everything to be
with me. That's important to kids growing up. We've got to let them know
they're a priority. The problem is that there's a fine line, right?! Because
I've got a 13 yr. old that's about to run me ragged!! I think it's about
communication. You can have boundaries and still make someone feel
important. But it's a skill. A skill I've yet to master!
I forgot to tell you that my dear friend Cynthia
came for a quick six hour visit on the 9th. She was in town from Oregon. We
were roommates in Flagstaff. Let me tell you - that girl is a riot. She
helped my bad attitude. Her cousin was having her quincinerra so Cynthia
wanted to get her nails done, etc. We had breakfast at the Breakfast Joynt
then had manicures side by side - talking the whole time. Alice was home
taking care of Cynthia's two little girls. They are 2 and 5. Then I drove
them all to her brother's house around 4. Her parents live in Yuma and I'm
always happy when she drops in for a day or two. This was a refresher visit!
Okay, we're jumping around, now we're on to April
16th. Sharon arrived from North Carolina. We were roommates at Ben Lippen
High School. As she reminded me, we've been friends for 27 years. That's a
long time! My whole family loves when she comes to visit. On the 17th another
friend had a little "celebration" for me with about 7 of my closest
girlfriends. She'd wanted to have it after my treatment ended last year but I
wasn't ready. Everything was still too raw - in more ways than one!!
Everyone had a great time. She lives on the golf course and the view was
beautiful. We all sat outside and nibbled on hummus, fruit, crackers &
cheese. It was intimate but there was a lot of laughter. I needed it since
I'd kind of crawled up inside myself. Several of the women didn't know each
other. And really, none of them hang out together. I was the common
denominator! Each one is special, unique and precious to me. Having Sharon
there was awesome. Maureen stepped up as the facilitator - she asked several
questions about what God had taught me the past year and a half. I probably
should have had a little head's up on that since there's a lot to share. We
had a sweet prayer time thanking God for what He's done and also lifting up
others who are going through their own stuff. Memories were made that night!
Saturday I had to work but Sharon was entertained by Dawnn - the hostess of
the party. Wasn't that sweet? They ended up at the restaurant as I was
checking out. We had a yummy breakfast together.
Saturday night we ended up going to the
Scottsdale Culinary Festival for a bit. My bosses gave me vendor passes.
Tickets were $40 each otherwise! Then you have to pay for any food/drink you
want to try. Wow! Plus, there were a ton of people there. Sharon & I just
people watched then went around the corner for some chips & salsa!! We got to
ride the trolley too. Wahooo!
Sunday I had to work again but got off early.
Another friend from Flagstaff was in town for the weekend. He's moving to
Peru in a couple weeks. Since Ron & I hadn't seen him in 15 years we thought
it's be a good idea to get together before he's gone again! Gary and I worked
together when I was in college. Actually, Cynthia worked at the same place
too. We reconnected on Facebook about two months ago. Gary was at the house
when I got home from work. Apparently, he'd gotten there while Ron was at
church. Sharon entertained my friend until we all came home! Then our
friends Steve and Paul arrived and an impromptu party ensued. We threw a
lasagna into the oven, tossed a salad, and made some garlic bread! It was
fast and furious since Gary had to leave by 5:00 pm but uproariously
entertaining!
Don't you think my circle of friends is wide?!
I wouldn't have it any other way to tell you the truth. Tomorrow I'm planning
on going into the realty office. There's a couple files I need to get into
order. Lynnette and I are going to do a workout video together in the
morning. It's always convenient to plan something with her and then go into
work because she lives right by the office. My Tuesdays freed up because the
Tuesday morning Bible Study ended until the Fall. Hopefully my group will be
able to get together a couple times before September. We've got a great table
of women.
Wednesday the 29th I go in for my third
injection. Yuck, yuck. You'd think I'd get used to it but I don't. This
really is a bit of a desert time for me and I'm not really happy about it.
I've been in a lot of pain and have not been sleeping well. The problem is
that I was told the first two wouldn't bother me much but once the skin
started stretching then I'd have discomfort. Maybe I was still healing from
the surgery itself and that's why I had so much initial pain. I might
be unconsciously readying myself for what's to come. I don't know.
The good news - since I've always got to find it
- is that my scars are healing really nicely. Also, my skin is stretching so
I probably won't have to resort to the muscle flap surgery which, would have
been much more painful. No thank you. I keep thinking "This is the least
invasive surgery? The least painful? Really?!" My next visit with the
oncologist is on May 8th. It's with the practitioner and she always tells me
more than I want to hear. Earlier I posted that my bone & CTscans were
clear. She'll probably tell me about the spot they're watching. We'll see
then.
Lastly, I'll tell you a bit of what I'm
processing. Here's what I've got to say and I'm afraid I won't say it right.
I'm afraid I'll start crying as I type. But I've got to say it. When I got
my diagnosis and started this whole deal I instantly went to a place of
gratitude. My mom and I had many conversations about it. She saw it as a
choice I made but for me it felt natural. Of course, I'll find the good in
this situation. Of course, I'll find the humor. Of course, I'll find the
blessing. The alternative would be to sit in bed and feel sorry for myself or
be really, really cranky. Hmmmm, not me. Right away I had peace that it
would be okay - whether I made it through or died trying! I'm trying to make
sense of recent events and this is what God has put in my head as it relates
to me. (Sounds selfish and that's why I'm not certain I'll say it right
because it's not about me.) But in order to pray about the situation, in
order to intercede for others I need understanding. This phrase has popped up
often the past couple weeks - You learned to trust God with yourself but do
you trust His will for those you love? And that's what I'm really struggling
with. Because I do in theory. You know? It's wrapping my heart around it
that's so hard to do. A family I hold dear is at the beginning of a road I
don't want them to have to go down. They're my "back-up" parents and have
walked alongside our family for many years. It's not the outcome I'm worried
about - it's my compassion for a man I esteem as much as my husband and my
father.
Thanks for bearing with me.
------------------------------------
April 14, 2009
Hi all - last week I had gone to see Dr. M with
my mom after Bible study. He said everything looked good and that we could do
the first "fill" that day. Ummmm, excuse me?! A little warning please! My
anxiety level went through the roof. He doesn't do that part so another woman
(trained professional I assumed) came into the room. She was really nice &
chatty. She distracted me a bit as mom held my hand. The worst part was
taking off the steri-strips that I'd had since surgery. For some reason my
body likes to hang onto those! Anyway, long story short - it went fine. Hurt
a tiny bit. Mostly it was the muscle spasms afterwards and coming off my
anxiety "high." I just don't trust them the first time when they say
something won't hurt. You know? 'Cause there's always an exception to the
rule!! "Oh goodness, we've never had that happen before!" Yea, of course you
haven't. Dr. M. said that it's common for people to feel tired, etc. up to
six weeks post op. I'll get these little bursts of energy and then crash for
a day or two. Also, Ron and I went to a great seminar at the Piper Center a
couple weeks ago. It was called "Intimacy After Cancer" and really helped us
both understand some relational things. Anyway, they quoted a new study that
says fatigue can last up to 5 years after treatment. Five years! Last I
heard it was 1-2. Love these new studies! :(
I've been pretty down lately. Felt like I
haven't been handling this well. Part of it is because I know there's another
surgery involved...so I'll have pain again, etc. But I don't know - my head
just didn't feel right. Some of it also had to do with the heavy pain
medications. They can mess with you as well. Anyway, last Thursday was the
first day I woke up and felt pretty decent. Not a lot of discomfort & I'd
only taken Advil during the night. Now I'll start going every other week for
injections. Please pray my skin cooperates. He said the first two won't be a
big deal but after that I'll start feeling it. The good news is that it looks
like the scars are healing really nicely.
Next prayer request - our insurance changes May 1st. Ron found out
yesterday. Three concerns: 1) Dr. M is on the new plan, 2) the deductible
will transfer because we've already met it this year and 3) there aren't any
pre-existing condition clauses.
Saturday I went back to work at the restaurant.
Very nice to have some customers say they were happy to see me back. Most of
the staff didn't even know why I'd been gone but I ended up "spilling the
beans." It was kind of nice not being linked with cancer but it was getting
awkward. People didn't want to ask but were curious.....I didn't want them to
start thinking it was worse than it was or more embarrassing. Everyone was
truly supportive.
Sunday morning I had to work a couple hours but
they let me go early. Then my parents and the Skiba's went to our friends
home to celebrate Easter. It was the first time in forever that we weren't at
mom & dad's house. We had a fantastic time. Great food, interesting
conversation, good people. They had remodeled their home after some damage
and it was awesome to see the changes. It is so much fun for me to see
people's homes & decorations, etc. It was the perfect way to spend the
afternoon!
One of the guests had some health problems last
year. She was talking to me about how she was lying there - unable to see,
speak, or walk....but it was okay. How she felt like her arms were raised and
she said to God - "It's okay!" Well, suffice it to say I let me guard down
and started to cry. I had to leave the table for a minute. Why? Because I
sooooooo got what she was saying. When I returned, I told her just that. It
doesn't mean you like what's happening....but you know it'll be okay. She
expressed it very eloquently.
So we had this wonderful time of fellowship and
we went home. Dad and mom joined us at our house for the traditional
Easter hunt. My kid's have always had to look for their treats. Even though
they're getting older it was still fun for them. That's the beauty of having
a younger sibling! Jenny was totally into it. I thought my parents were
acting a little quiet. Well, the rug got ripped from under me shortly after
the hunt. Someone very close to our family had just gotten a cancer
diagnosis. My folks learned the news on the way to our house. For the second
time in a day I broke down. Except this time I couldn't stop.....and didn't
stop for a really, really long time. This man is in the top three of the most
important men in my life. Today I'm breathing again. It's devastating for
their family and the shock has spread to ours. I told Lynnette "My diagnosis
I understand, I see what God has done and needed to do in my life. But this
one I don't get and truthfully, I'm not okay with it." I feel like I'm in a
snow globe and somebody just shook it up. And that is all I can say because
it's too much. Too, too much to bear.
------------------------------------
March309,
2009
Here's a short update. It's a whiney one!
Sorry!
Thank you
all for your prayers, hot food, flowers and cards! This was by far the
most painful thing I've ever gone through. It is incomprehensible that they
do not keep someone overnight for this type of procedure. The pain was
constant and horrid. Plus, feeling like I was literally being kicked out of
post op didn't help. Don't blame the nurses or Docs - it's the insurance.
However, Ron immediately called Dr. M when we got home to get me an additional
prescription for pain.
Everyone makes different decisions on this and no
one can say which is right or wrong. However, I am so very thankful I waited
a year before putting my body through this surgery. I could not use my arms
to get out of bed - solely relying on my abs & thighs to wrangle myself up.
There were times Ron tried to pull/push me up but that sent me over the edge.
Then, once I was sitting upright. there was another wave of pain as
everything settled to that position. UGH! So, you can understand that I
thought very long and hard about how badly I needed to get out of bed. We're
not even talking about switching positions while lying down....that is too
long and boring. That being said - I am so grateful for the classes I've been
taking since August at the Piper Center. The breath work as well as the yoga
seriously made a huge difference. Friday (maybe Thursday - can't even
remember) morning I waited until 5 a.m. and woke Ron so he could call my
parents. I needed that glorious blue chair. Hadn't slept a wink and was
seriously losing it. They welcomed me and all became much better in my
world. Thank the Lord they live so close...for so many reasons!!
Pain is
hard, hard, hard. I'm trying to process it.
It changes you and really strips away everything. It brings me to tears to
think of people (one in particular that I've know since infancy) who live with
chronic pain. It can be isolating - even in my brief dance with it, I felt
very alone.
So today.....I'm still exhausted and still
thinking I'm superwoman. I went into the Real Estate office for 2 hours then
came home and took a 2 1/2 hour nap. Dad got the younger two from school for
me. Woke up, picked up Alice from school and went shopping at Costco. Got
home, everyone helped unload, and then called my mom. I was too exhausted to
cook dinner. Okay, I need to mention that dinner was Costco Rotisserie
chicken & steamed broccoli. Nothing gourmet. But yea, I was too tired to hold
a knife. Seriously, that tired. Ron is working late so she immediately came
over & got the kid's fed.
Now I'm trying to get this out & then I'm heading
straight to bed. It sounds like I'm whining and I'm sorry. There's a lot I'm
going to share at a later date. My
good times are fleeting and it makes me sad.
Thankfully the rash I got from the
bandages (that bound my entire torso and over my shoulder) is healing. Ron
has been fantastic through this procedure! A class we went to on
Saturday at the hospital really opened discussion on some issues we've been
dealing with. He was also able to communicate to me some of what he's been
going through the past year and a half. Ahhh, communication, it's a beautiful
thing. I'm very proud of him - he's a
good man.
Well, I'm
done. Please continue to pray for my attitude. There has been little
to laugh at these past 2 weeks...and you know that's not good for me.
Pray for the pain. I'm basically off the prescription drugs - and
there were several - trying to only take Advil. However, I also know that the
body has to work harder to recover when it's dealing with pain.
So......what's a girl to do?!
I am
forever indebted to all of you. Truly, knowing you are thinking & praying for
me is sometimes all I've got to cling to. Thank you from my entire soul!!
------------------------------------
March 18th,
2009 - Surgery Day
The doctors said that Stephanie's
surgery went very well; but sounds like it was a tad more complicated than they
had thought - but it went well. Unfortunately, I've been told the
pain is the worst she's ever experienced. Pray for pain relief, for
humor, for strength and rest for all in the family, and wisdom for the things to come.
Stephanie will update as soon as she is able.
------------------------------------
March 17, 2009
Breathe, pray, breathe! So tomorrow is the big
day and this morning I started out pretty weepy. Now I'm feeling pretty calm
and collected. (And no, I did not have anything green to drink. I know how
some of your minds work!) I'll go back to last week and bring you up to
date.
Ron and I met with Dr. M on Thursday. Ron felt
very confident about my choice in surgeons. The doctor seems to be pretty
conservative in terms of cutting. He doesn't "push" invasive surgery.
We discussed our concerns, etc. He took time to explain things and answer
questions. It was a good visit. We ended up spending a lot of time talking
about our kids and their personalities, etc. Does this surprise you at all?
Dr. M said the recovery would be about 2 weeks. No yoga for six. What?!
Friday was my birthday. My bosses at work got a
big cake, flowers and sang Happy Birthday to me. I was pretty surprised! It
is a really fun place to work. I am thankful for this job! Ron and I went out
to dinner to celebrate that I made it to 43. We had a really nice time.
Listen to a jazz band, people watched....you know, the works! Mom and dad got
home safely from Georgia that night too. The team they went with had all sung
Happy Birthday to me earlier in the day. You all are just too sweet to me!!
(Thanks to Patti who left a nice basket of goodies by my door!) We had just
run out of soap and what arrived from my friend in San Francisco? You got it
- fantastic, super yummy smelling, glorious soap!
Saturday was our 17th wedding anniversary. I
worked during the day - but Ron came in for breakfast before he tackled his
honey-do list. The evening was spent driving the kid's to various parties.
But it was fun none the less. I worked Sunday morning too. It's hard not to
work these two days because I can make twice as much as I make on a weekday.
We went to church on Sunday night and I appreciated the sermon. Jason spoke
from Joshua. He camped on the fact that Joshua spent time with God before
going into battle. One of his illustrations was "Ready, aim, fire!" He said
some people are "ready, aim, aim, aim, aim...." While others are "Ready -
Fire!" (And then asking did I hit the target? Anything?!) I tend to be the
latter example. Anyway, after the sermon Ron and I went forward and asked him
to pray with us. I got completely choked up and Ron had to finish my
sentence. Ugh - you know I don't do well when I'm like that! Anyway, it felt
comforting to have him pray for me. Then it was off to In & Out for dinner
with (most of) the Alianza's. Maureen's birthday is the 4th so we exchanged
presents Yea!!
Okay, I'm sharing this feeling like I shouldn't
but.... Monday mom and I went to the Camelback Spa for the day. It was a
Christmas present from dad that we had treasured & saved. What a perfect time
to pull out those gift cards!!! As usual, a day with my mom is a day well
spent. We went from the whirlpool, to the sauna, to the steam room, to the
pool. Good gravy, I love living in the Valley! I think I used about half a
bottle of lotion in the shower - bring it on!! Anyway, as I was having a
massage I thought "this was the best timing!" Our men held down the forts for
us. It was a good day!
Today I went to Bible Study. I swear Beth Moore
wrote this lesson for me - specifically for this time. I felt like her eyes
were looking through me - and she was on DVD!! How does she do that??! As
you know, we are studying Esther. Session four is on courage.
Hellllllloooooo! Give me a cupful please. As I mentioned earlier - I had
been pretty weepy in the morning. I don't know that I'd say I was fearful per
se....just not looking forward to being in pain again. Anyway, I wanted to
share a couple points with you today. Maybe you need a healthy dose of
courage in things you are dealing with in your life!!
1. Esther had a choice in whether or not to go
before the King. We have choices as well. In the homework she said "At
critical moments - even those unrecognizable at the time- failure to decide is
to decide on failure." Oprah has popularized the "aha" moment. Beth says
"you may be one brave decision away from the most important step in your
destiny."
2. Esther faced the fear. "There is no denial in
courage. Denial would cancel it out." This sent me back to when Alice was
born with complications. The hospital staff thought I was in denial. Uh,
no. I knew something was wrong with my baby. I understood she may not make
it. I also knew that my God had His hand on her life and mine. I remember
calling my boss at the time. He had been a grief counselor. I asked him "Do
you think I'm in denial?" His answer was "No, you're healthy & they don't
know how to deal with that. They're trained to deal with the wailing woman!"
Anyway, Beth then talked about fears and how they can overcome your life.
I'm sure we can all think of a time we felt paralyzed by the "what if's" in
life.
3. Lastly, Esther took the courage she was
offered. This is the part that got me bawling! She took what was offered to
her. That's all we have to do. The situations that cause us fear are real -
there's no getting around that fact. But God says "take courage." Beth
repeated take it. Don't be afraid is the most frequently used
command in the Bible. God is constantly telling us do not be afraid in His
word. And yet what do we do? Fear everything on this planet! We need to
place our trust in the One who created us. That, my friends, is true
security.
When Beth prayed on the DVD she said "in the next
24 hours you will be challenged..." Okay, this was exactly 24 hours before I
was due at the hospital! Let's just say I've decided to take all the courage
God is offering me! Pour it down like rain. I'm talking rainforest not
desert rain!
Quickly, since I've got a ton to do, I wanted to
share something a woman from our group shared. She talked about how sometimes
in life we need to lay face up to the sky, relying on God completely. Like
Lazarus we need to let our friends cut a hole in the ceiling and help us to
see God. Other times - we get the be the friends, helping someone we love. I
thought that was kind of cool too.
St. Joe's tomorrow - March 18th - 11:30 am. The
surgery is at 1:00 and I'll be heading home around 4-5 pm. Long day for
everyone involved. Please pray for my
surgeon and the nurses. Pray
for my family as they wait anxiously outside. For me - pray I trust God.
Lord knows I'm not a wilting flower. However, I've been known to tremble a
bit!
Psalms 138:8
The Lord will accomplish what concerns me;
Thy loving-kindness, O Lord, is everlasting;
Do not forsake the works of thy hands.
We had a sweet time of prayer tonight with the
family. It was special to hear each of my children pray for their mom. It
gave me a glimpse of their hearts! Andrew prayed "In & Out!" That's my boy.
I contemplated letting each of them write a verse on me but thought that very
quickly, that could get out of hand!! And I don't want to distract anyone in
the operating room!!!
Thanks for your prayers!! Someone will update
within a day or two.
-------------------------------------
March 9,
2009
Stephanie writes at 10:16 pm
I got the results from my bone/ct scans. They
were negative for malignancy. Thank God! I'll have my check up with the
physicians assistant in two weeks and get the low down.
Please continue to pray that the spot
they're watching shrinks more or goes away...or stays the same! We
just don't want it bigger! Thank you for praying me through this!!
When I came out of the scan my mom said "We're on
our way to the E.R. Ron is there with Jenny." So we high tailed it to
Scottsdale Shea and there sat my darling looking like something the cat
dragged in. She was a pathetic mess, poor baby. Her lips were three times
their size and she was splotchy. Here's the back-story - Tuesday morning she
woke up with a rash from head to toe. I brought her to the pediatrician who
said she is now allergic to penicillin. (Which she was on because of the strep
throat.) So we gave her Benedryl and then I went on with my stressful day.
So around 3 p.m. her body was still working out the penicillin. Ugh! Here's
the funny part - the P.A. walks in and I said "Hi, Sara!" She and I worked
banquets together at The Phoenician!! I knew she was in school to become a
doctor but boy, it's a small world. She's a physician's assistant and still
in school. This time getting her masters. We had a nice little chat! So,
Jenny got a dose of steroids and she still flared up a couple times after
that. She was out of school all week. Now she's on Spring Break but she has
a ton of homework....which she doesn't do well in the first place. Please
pray she gets all caught up!!
Thanks to all who have come to see me at work.
Your faces brighten my day! The Farr's were in a couple weeks ago. Two of my
bunco ladies were already there today when I got in at 9:30. The Matthews
came & sat in my section this weekend. However, I totally missed the Grudem's.
Poor me! Apparently they came in and I never saw them. It was the rush and I
must have been hyper focused on my tables. Boo-hoo. Mom & dad came in on
Sunday. Of course, Paul and Steve are always a highlight too! I think I've
got Paul addicted to our waffles. I have this wonderfully endearing quality
with him. I get him to eat everything I can't! It's really fun, right
Paul?! But really, it does make me happy & breaks up my day to see my
friends!
I
turn 43 on Friday. My feelings are yikes and yipppeee! I'm certainly happier
about it this year. Last year I was still in so much pain from the
radiation. This year I'm in more of a celebratory mood. Also, our 17th
anniversary is on Saturday. Ahhhhh, another year in paradise!!
Let's see....I think that's all for now. Oh, I
see the doctor on Thursday to prep for my surgery next week. Don't know what
that all entails. Mom & dad will be in Georgia. Ron will go with me to get
briefed. Yet, I like for two people to go with me normally. Somehow that's
the only way I get all the information!!
Pray everything stays on target.
-------------------------------------
March 2,,
2009
Stephanie writes at 5:41 pm
Phew, what a week! I was only "down" Tuesday
and Wednesday last week. My symptoms cleared up pretty quickly after
getting antibiotics. However, my cough has remained and is tiresome. I've
worked every day since Thursday. The restaurant got a plug on Channel 10
last Friday so we have been slammed there. The good news is that I have
been able to replenish our savings account a bit. We were down to our last
couple hundred bucks! Yikes! The owners of the restaurant love me already
and are very encouraging to me. I got a bad tip today and Becky about went
to the table and said something to them! Hee-hee. She was so mad because I
had gone to the table several times asking if everything was okay. They
said yes each time. Then, after all their food was gone, he says "Here are
several things that were wrong!" They were things that could have easily
been fixed and it was with the food not the service. (I don't have x-ray
vision to see inside the omelets!) Here's my server tip for the day - if you
are in a restaurant and something is wrong - tell your server and give them
the opportunity to make it right! Don't wait until the end and then expect
to get your bill comped or something. I really do want my tables to have an
enjoyable experience! The cook, who messed up my order, felt really bad
because they "punished" me for his mistake. But you know what? I think
that if it made them feel better to give me an insulting tip then that's
fine. My next table gave me a 35% tip on their ticket and they said
everything was perfect. Some people just shouldn't go out to eat. So
there!
Alice has the flu and Jenny has strep throat.
Oh, and Harley (the dog) was way out of it too! My glorious parents kept
the girls almost the whole time. Mom wanted to make sure that I was able to
sleep a lot when I wasn't working. Andrew had a great weekend at a Dare to
Share event. He was gone from Friday until late Saturday night. He is
really spreading his wings. Thankfully he and Ron have stayed healthy.
Please pray that this remains the case & that the girls bounce back quickly.
Tomorrow is my CT scan and Body scan. I'll go to Bible Study, then
mom will drive me to my appointment. I'll take my "mellowing pills" on the
way to the office. First they'll inject me with the dye, then off to the CT
scan. Mom & I can then go out to lunch and then return 2 hours later for
the body scan. Please pray
everything is clear!! Pray
that stupid spot on my lung has continued to shrink! Pray I don't freak out
during the procedure!! What else? Pray the injection goes smoothly!
I chose to have this done before my reconstruction surgery. I wanted to be
given a clean bill of health before proceeding to the next phase. I'll see
Rachel the week after my surgery so the scans were due to be done anyway.
She said I could do them now or after surgery. Hmmmmm. Now, please! Well,
actually, never but whatever!
Also,
please pray for Ron and I. We had a little blow out last night over
something really stupid. The catalyst was stupid enough but then we had
laundry lists after we fought about a book! Life is just stressful. Having
sick kids is stressful. My impending surgery is stressful. The list goes
on and on. I think a tiff now and then is inevitable. We both agree we
handled it badly but the end of the night ended well! Sometimes you have to
take the pot off simmer! Hey, that almost sounds like a book title, right?!
I think that's about all I have for right now.
Thanks for checking in on me. We continue to depend on your prayers for
support. Oh, and if you come in to the restaurant, ask for me! Friends were
in on Sunday and I never even said hello!! I was in my zone & they didn't
see me. Boo-hoo, I always like to see a friendly face!! Have a great
week!
-------------------------------------
February 24, 2009
Stephanie writes at 11:30 am
This is going to be quick because I'm supposed to
be in bed. And while I am not normally compliant, it's where I want to be.
Yesterday I woke up with a burning cough. Last night was terrible. Fever,
chills, coughing, blah, blah. This morning I went to see my doctor. Upon
calling me to the back he exclaimed "You look like crap!" Yes, thank you very
much, that's why I'm here!! Why do I have the smarty pants doctor?! Anyway,
he sent me to do blood work and also a chest x-ray. My lungs, throat, ears,
nose all look great. Please pray that they figure out what's wrong quickly.
He didn't want to throw me on antibiotics if I didn't need them. All I know
is - I feel terrible. He wants me to drink a cup of peppermint tea every
hour. This on top of drinking as much water as I can handle. Ohhhhhh, woe is
me!
Here's the good news - I decided on the type of
surgery I'm going to have. It's the no frills approach but I think it will be
the easiest on my body. (I might add it's easier on my spirit too!) It's the
countdown now but I'm really not very nervous. Please pray I continue to feel
peace about the whole procedure.
That's all
for now.
My tea is gone so it's time for a nap.
-------------------------------------
February 9,,
2009
Stephanie writes at 9:01 am
Happy Monday to all! I'm going to try to whip
this out before going to work. Things have been going very, very good. A
little hectic but good. It's amazing that the schedule has worked out so well
and even the loss of my car has been okay.
The restaurant is picking up business. It's
still kind of random - we'll be packed one day and then really slow the next.
However, the people are super nice to work around. I've had more shifts than
I want but that's all part of being the new girl. Mom and dad came in
yesterday at the height of our madness. There was a 25 minute wait for a
table! I was never so happy to see them in my section. They provided a
"break" for me as I knew I could hold off on their order to catch up on my
other tables! What impressed me was that even though it was crazy all of the
staff remained friendly to each other. I'm used to people snapping in the
heat of the moment - especially in that environment.
Last week I met with a girl who had the surgery I
am contemplating. She had it done on January 15th and is healing well. It's
such a "not okay" situation on so many levels! The enormity of it all hit me
the next day. I told Lynnette that I seem to consistently underestimate the
emotional effect these types of informational meetings will have on me. This
woman was only 26 when her cancer was diagnosed. She only had one breast
removed at the time - she's 28 now. Next week she is going in to have the
second breast removed as a precaution. My heart breaks for what she has had
to go through. Sometimes I think it's easier for me to cry for her than for
me. Does that make sense? Anyway, here we are sitting in Paradise Bakery
talking about implants & flaps....crazy! Then we go into the bathroom so she
can show me what it all looks like. I need to see this, it's good
information. Yet inside I'm going -
"this is awkward!" Then, since there's only 2 stalls, we have to wait for the
handicapped one to open up. I refuse to squeeze into a single stall. This
sort of activity takes a certain amount of space! Anyway, we made some jokes
to lighten the mood as she took off her shirt. Then I'm thinking maybe I
should have seen someone who'd had it done a year or so ago first. She's
still healing so there is a lot of discoloration, etc. It was really hard.
The good news is that she is totally happy with the procedure. It was
overwhelming for me. So, now I'm even more conflicted about what I should
do. I have made the decision to have something done but don't know which
one. It's apple and oranges - at the end of the day you have juice but
they're two different kinds. I'll have breasts but they are two different
procedures and one isn't "easier" than the other. I'm glad I met with her
because if I elect to go that route I won't freak out while I'm healing.
Ugh! That's all I can say about the whole thing right now. I have five weeks
until surgery - four to decide. Pray for me!! Ron, of course, is wonderful.
He's not weighing in too heavily because he feels it is truly my decision.
He's pretty much a sounding board right now. This is really the first
decision where I don't feel myself leaning one way or the other. I need a
clear voice & haven't found it yet.
So - I keep on looking..and praying!
Alice had a great 16th birthday party. She got a
laptop from her parents and grandparents. I found a excellent deal on a
refurbished one. Also, she got a small Coach purse that seem to be the rage
around here. That we got for free! It was a promotional "give away" from a
manufacturer. It went along with their Function & Fashion concept. How fun
was it to pass it down to her!! Alice's friends made her feel very special.
Also, she volunteers at the Just Moved office once a week. They loved all
over her that day - as only those fantastic women can! Her love cup was
overflowing!
Andrew went to a school dance on Friday night.
When he came home I told him that he had to tell me about it using more than
10 words! It amazes me how I used to get tired from all his talking...now my
boy has become a man of few words! He's such a good kid. This year has been
easier for him. He gets his cast off in a couple weeks. Did I mention he
broke it at winter camp? He's rocking a black cast! We bought a silver
sharpie so people could sign it. Nice!
Ron's job is going well. His company is one of
the only wholesalers who have not laid anyone off. Thank God for that!
Things are tight but everyone is working together. Our trip to Flagstaff was
sad but went without trouble. The funeral was at the airport in a hanger.
They counted 450 cars - which means there was probably over 1,000 people
honoring this man. He and Ron had gone to High School together. The memorial
service gave such a wonderful glimpse of how we touch other people. There
were all different types in attendance. I loved that! Old, young, hippie,
lawyers, students....and everyone talked about what a giving person Frank
was. How he made others happy. His brother spoke about relationships. When
you strip away everything - what is left is relationships. The brother went
on to say that his relationship with Jesus was the most precious to him. Ron
felt that it was a high school reunion and all the people he really wanted to
see were there. After the funeral we went to the Central Arizona Supply
because Ron had to pick up something for a customer. We got to see old
friends there as well. Then we snuck off and had lunch at our old, favorite
Mexican haunt. Yum! It was a bad/good day.
Tomorrow we start the new Beth Moore Esther
study. I am so excited about it. Several people have started at other
churches and say it's a good one. Esther is Alice's favorite story in the
Bible so I love looking at it through her eyes too. My table has grown to 10
strong, wonderful woman. Yippppeeeee! We have fun.
Well, I need to get rolling. The bad thing about
having this job is that I have to do my hair every day. Thankfully it now
goes into my beloved hot rollers! I know how to "do" my old hair - this new
stuff is a little more labor intensive. But don't get me wrong...I'm thankful
for each strand! Thanks for your
continued prayers regarding my decision. I also have a six month check
up coming up around that time. New CT scan - the works. You know how I love
those.
Have a terrific week! Tell someone you love
them!
-------------------------------------
January 27, 2009
Stephanie writes at 12:16 pm
Thanks to those of you who wrote/emailed me
last week with words of encouragement. Each one meant so much to me! You
all are the best you know!
I've got some sad news. Ron's friend died in a
plane accident last Friday. This was a friend from Flagstaff and while they
didn't talk often, it's still a tough thing. The funeral is this Friday and
we'll be heading up to attend.
Please pray for travel safety for us as we drive.
Tomorrow I start my new job. I went and took
the test for a new food handlers card this morning. Man, that was a
depressing office place. That poor woman behind the glass looked
miserable. I couldn't do it! Made me sad for her. Anyway, last Sunday Ron
and I went out for breakfast. It's a new restaurant in the airpark that has
only been open for a couple months. We've been several times (They've got
terrific coupons!) and I've said "I could work here." Sunday I asked for an
application and when I brought it back in the afternoon they hired me!
Okkkaaaay, that changes my week. I think we've got it worked out. It kind
of threw us all. Mom was worried because we had decided I wouldn't find
work until after my surgery. But if you are tapped out, you're tapped out!
Also, when I applied I really didn't think I'd be hired right then. Even
with my sparkly personality! We'll see how it goes. It's owned by a
husband/wife team and they seem really nice. I could probably make more at
a chain but it wouldn't be as interesting - or as flexible. I'm only going
to work a couple days a week. They aren't open at night, which is nice.
It's called The Breakfast Joynt - come see me sometime! They have Swedish
pancakes with lingonberries! Ron's dropping me off at 6 am with my bike on
the back of the car. I'll ride home after my shift. It's going to be fun!
The best part was that I got a blessing from Bill to add this to the Real
Estate work I do for him. He's the best!
Alice gets her expander today at the
orthodontist. Hence me having to get a job! Pray it doesn't hurt too
much. She's had spacers for two weeks and it's been a little tough to eat.
She turns 16 next week. What?! How can that be possible? We are busy
planning a low key birthday bash for her at home. It's a challenge because
some of her friend have already had their parties and a couple have
been really fun. The thing with Alice is that she's pretty mellow. She'd
like to just have a couple people over. But when other people are hiring
DJ's & renting space....Plus she has a mother that bucks the norm! "Oh,
everybody's doing this? Let's do our own thing!" When my kid's were
little it was popular to order their cakes, etc. So, of course to be
different (and since I'm cheap!) I made the treasure chest and train cake at
home. I don't even think it's because we live in Scottsdale that the
expectation is high. I think it is across the country. Mom and I were
talking about that today. You had a Sweet Sixteen party because you didn't
necessarily get a party every year.
I have to brag about Jenny for a second.
Please indulge me! She and I are going to the State Capital on Monday for
lunch. She is one of two children who are going to get to read their
winning essays to the legislators! How fun is that going to be for her?!
The contest was state wide and there were nine essays chosen. We are so
proud of our little verbal child!
Have any of you in Arizona been following the
story about the woman (Stephanie Nielson) who was burned in a plane crash?
Oh man, that is such an amazing story. Her courage and strength is
unbelievable. She's still blogging at
http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/. Check it out but have a kleenex
box.
Well, I'm done. The men are here fixing our
heater. Finally. It's time for me to take a break ~ sit on the couch & close
my eyes. Make sure you schedule breaks for yourself too!!
-------------------------------------
January 20, 2009
Stephanie writes at 2:16 pm
Do you ever feel like you're banging your head
against the wall? It feels like that for me the past couple weeks. I've
had a good attitude about it all up until today. Now I just feel like
crying. But that's what happens when you are dealing with insurance
companies! Right now we're dealing with three and it's about to drive me
insane. Our dental office made a mistake by saying Andrew's sealants were
covered...but they are not. While they are apologetic about the error,
apparently I'll still be held responsible for $225. Argh! On the other
hand, I recognize that it is ultimately up to me to make sure what is and
what is not covered. Our heater is still broken. The word on the street is
that it is the distributors fault that the heating company doesn't have the
compressor yet. I think this is because the home warranty company knows we
are talking to the heating company. They were blaming each other for the
hold up but now there's another player. 
I'm also getting everything ready for taxes - you can see why I'm a little
overwhelmed! Lynnette and I already walked four miles today. I'm writing
because I thought it would be a distraction but it seems I'm just
transferring frustration - or defining it!! Deep breath in - slow exhale.
I keep reminding myself that I am responsible for my reaction. Tantrum
isn't a good look for me!
The appointment with the plastic surgeon went
really well last week. I liked him even more than the original doctor I
consulted. He was realistic yet positive. The date for surgery is March
18th! What do you think of that?! Mom was a little surprised when I told
her I'd scheduled it. He said it will be an eight month process and I want
to be done by the end of the year. We are going to try implants but if my
skin doesn't want to cooperate - and it may not on the right side - he'll
have to take the muscle from my back. He said only the right side whereas
the woman plastic surgeon said both. She made it sound so extremely
horrible that I didn't even think I wanted reconstruction! He is positive
that reconstruction on radiated tissue is possible. Two out of three
surgeons were confidant. My decision now is if I want to go straight to
taking the muscle in an effort to bypass any trouble I may have from the
expanders. My thought is that I want to take the easiest, least invasive
route. However, I also don't want to try the expanders and then find out we
need to take the muscle in the end anyway. There is no way to tell if the
skin will stretch until you try it.
Please pray I have a clear vision of which path I need to take.
While I have stated in the past that I am not defined by that part of my
anatomy, a little normalcy would be okay. It would be nice for clothes to
fit appropriately. The surgery will be outpatient at St. Joseph's Hospital.
I hiked like a mad woman last week. Eighteen
and a half miles to be exact. Valerie and I hiked Dreamy Draw on Thursday.
She and I walk well together. The conversation never stops which means we
sometimes walk farther than intended!! My dad and I had a great hike on
Friday morning. We dropped Alice off at school and hit the Lost Dog Wash
trail. I talked about it in the last post. It was so much fun to spend
time alone with him. That doesn't happen often!
I attended a class on Lymphedema last night. "Lymphedema
is a backup of lymphatic fluid resulting from damage to the lymph nodes.
"Primary" Lymphedema can occur spontaneously anywhere in the body at any
time, "secondary" lymphedema is sparked by trauma, including radiation or
surgical removal of the lymph nodes." (Katherine Hobson) The class was
filled with cancer patients as well as heart and diabetic patients. I
walked in and physically stopped inside the door. Looking around the room
it was quite obvious that I was the youngest person there by about 20
years. Deep breath. There were at least three adult children there as
caretakers for their parents. Can I tell you how difficult that is for me?
I get a little weepy just typing this description. I keep telling myself
it's okay but the reality is that sometimes it's tough being proactive. And
it just opens the doors to what could be in my future. I want to be
informed but truthfully, the pictures aren't pretty. (Ohhh, I had to take a
break and call Maureen for encouragement. Had a little emotional breakdown.
You never know when the tears are going to come! She was hiking Squaw Peak
and we talked the whole way down. Have I said how much I love my
friends?!) I talked to the therapist after the meeting and she said that
the swelling in my arm, although minimal, should be addressed. It comes and
goes, which is also normal too. Now I need to get a referral from my Doctor
before getting treatment.
It's hard because I was the youngest person in
the room, the most in shape person in the room, and the least swollen person
in the room. Maybe that should make me feel good but it also scares me.
Maureen thought that this meeting probably wasn't the best arena for me to
get my information. But I don't know that until I get to the class. You
know? So, I have to keep going and gathering. I'm feeling really balanced
right now in terms of my emotional and physical health. Every once in
awhile the scales are tipped a bit and I'm reminded of what I live with.
Okay, time to get back to the grind.
Thank you for your prayers regarding
the doctor visit I had last week. It exceeded my expectations. I
had clarity and realized that I was ready to proceed with reconstruction.
Now I have eight weeks to get in the best shape I can be in before surgery.
My biggest prayer need right now is the God allows me to stay in the race.
It's easy for me to skip along the path with my basket of flowers and a song
in my heart. I think that even I need to be reminded sometimes that there's
still a journey ahead of me. I keep the voices in my head quiet but every
once in awhile I get a "screamer." And that thought or fear or anxiety
needs to be processed. I keep Jeremiah 29:11 close to my heart.
"For I know the plans I have for you...plans to
give you hope and a future."
God has proven Himself faithful to me. I hope
you feel He has done the same for you. We're all dealing with one
affliction or another. How do you respond? Maybe all of this helps me to
disconnect with this world. The doctors, hospitals, drug companies,
therapists don't have control of it all. (I could go on and include
mortgage companies, financial institutions...wherever we tend to place
faith.) Philippians 3:20 says "but our citizenship is in heaven. And
we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who by the
power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform
our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body." Yet it is so
easy to rely on or cling to our earthly bodies and environment. Even when
that earthly body is limping along.....My world has some pretty cool stuff
going on in it! But we are instructed to hold it all loosely. That's a
process. If I were going to be really honest I'd have to admit that I cling
pretty tightly to those whom I love. Well, I can feel myself going down a
bunny trail. I think I'll save all that for another day.
I just got a call from the home warranty
company. She wanted to know how everything went with the installation of
the new compressor. Ummm, what compressor? (Who's on first?! Remember
that old comedy routine?) She says she's going to check on it and then call
me back. Anybody want to place odds or whether or not that's going to
happen?!! See, we can't place our faith in what this world has to offer or
promises to do!
Lord, help me be kind!
-------------------------------------
January 12, 2009
Stephanie writes at 1:16 pm
Harley and I just got back from a 4 1/2 mile
hike. It was a wonderful morning for it! We were on the Lost Dog Wash off of
124th Street. It's a perfect trail because Alice's school is on 136th so we
went after dropping her off this morning. There is an overlook to Taliesin -
which was Frank Lloyd Wright's baby. Of course, I got up to the spot and
there were about 25 people from a hiking club. I had to carry Harley about a
mile and a half down because he won't walk if we are too close to people. I
booked it down the trail just so I could get enough of a lead to put him
down. Silly puppy!
I spent a lot of time on the trail talking to
God. I kept thinking how terrific I feel and that my body is in such a better
place. Radiation began last year on January 10th. The port was removed on
January 15th. In many ways it seems like years ago - funny how God will allow
your mind to let go of some frightening things. Have you ever been on the
edge of a freak out? Where you think "I'm totally walking a thin line!" God
has granted me such peace. I had a lot of worries but haven't held any too
close. (Although I should probably read my posts from last year. I may have
forgotten how worried I was! Ha!) It is strange to think that a year ago the
most difficult part of it hadn't even happened. The healing from radiation
was the worst!!
On the trail I was thinking that I walk faster
when I hike with friends. And I seem to walk slower when I'm talking to God.
Then I posed the question (to myself of course, not to other hikers!) "What if
I applied that to my life?" If I am walking & talking in alignment with my
faith it would slow me down - calm me. I don't know if you're like me but I
ran at about 160 mph prior to my diagnosis. Mentally I make very quick
decisions and learn new things fast as well. This can be a extremely good
quality. It can also get me in trouble. I've had to learn to
sllllllloooooowwwww down. The classes I've taken at the Piper Center have
been unbelievable. Physically and mentally. My train of thought while I was
hiking went back to my friends. I've got many movers and shakers in my life.
We tend to use each other as sounding boards. A lot. And while I believe
that's a good thing, it speeds the process along. Maybe what I need to learn
is to talk to God about troubles first - before I start burning up the phone
line. Walk with Him before taking a hike with my friends. Can you relate? I
wanted to share that with you because maybe some of you need to let God take
you for a walk.
Please
pray for me tomorrow. I have an appointment with my new plastic surgeon.
It beats up my self esteem a little. Pray I don't cry the whole way home!
The office staff has been really, really nice. I've asked God to give me
peace about when to have the next surgery. It feels like I'm getting closer
to having it be okay.
Now we need to go back to Christmas Eve. I
forgot to tell you a story that is way cool! The girls needed their hair cut
so I brought them to a salon that had sent out a coupon. Right after the
girls went back to get their hair washed a woman came into the shop with her
friend. They were standing talking to the receptionist and the taller woman
pulled off her wig to show off her "duck fuzz." She went on to talk about how
thankful she was that chemo was over and how she was going to go outside that
night and thank God for all He has done. She was going to shake off the past
year and count her blessing. The woman was also talking about the numbness in
her hands and feet. I eavesdropped for awhile. (It's a gift I'm sorry to say
I'm really good at but it comes in handy.) Now usually I don't say anything
when I overhear people in public sharing their cancer story. I don't want to
"one-up" anyone else. Anyway, her friend went to get her hair cut and as the
woman turned around I blurted out "I completed treatment last year as well."
Never have I done that! Then I let her talk and talk. I could fill a couple
pages with what I learned about her. We chatted for about 30 minutes. I told
her that I had the numbness as well and that my hands returned to normal
first. It took awhile for the feet to completely stop tingling. Then the
girls were finished. As I was leaving
the woman grabbed my arm and said "I prayed this morning that God would send
me someone who knew what I was feeling. I specifically asked that someone
would tell me my feet would be okay." Isn't that awesome? I get chills just
typing about the experience. She was really discouraged about her recovery
and I was able to encourage her. Yea!! It made Christmas Eve really special
for me.
We find out Wednesday if Andrew gets into
Scottsdale Prep. It is a (free) charter school in the area. We are not sure
where he's going to High School next year. We'd really like him in a small
environment. However, I also know he'll be where he needs to be in the end.
I don't spend too much time worrying about it. Just being proactive.
Sometimes I think we have too many choices these days. Please pray if it's
God's will for him to go there that his number will be chosen. It's a
lottery.
Here's some fun news. Jennifer came in second
with an essay she wrote titled - "How
Art Has Changed My Life."
We're not sure exactly what it was for but I know the Arts Council is in the
name! I mailed it out a couple weeks ago. We came home yesterday and there
was a message on the phone. She called the woman back and was told she won
$100 and would be reading the essay at a dinner. Also, it's going to be
published. How fun is that? Jenny is beside herself with joy. We'll learn
more about it once some dates have been decided. Jenny hung up with Elaine
before I could chat. After jumping around a bit Jennifer said "I'm going to
give Alice $50 for Argentina." Isn't that sweet? We had been to a meeting
for the High School Argentina Trip. The kid's need to raise $2000 each in
order to go. The youth pastor is really cool. They can earn money by helping
with the fundraisers - they get a certain amount per hour credited to their
account. That's such a good idea! Several restaurants have also partnered
with SBC and will be giving a percentage of sales. Since the economy is what
it is....they stressed how this year there isn't any extra in the fund so the
groups are really having to come up with the total amount for the trip. In
years past there's been a little buffer. Apparently Jennifer was paying
attention! She had already turned to me during the meeting and said "Allie
can have all my change." Then, as only she can, she added "What do you think
they'll give me for a kidney?" She's a riot. I said "Honey, we won't be
selling any body parts for mission trips!" Now she's wanting to spread her
joy & cash around.
Our heater is still out. The warranty company is
blaming the heating company and vice versa. Hmmm. I've decided that I am now
the squeaky wheel and voiced that to my new best friend at the warranty
company. Rick and I had a discussion this morning. Then 10 minutes later the
repairman called me and asked if I had Rick's extension. I was proud to say
that I did, in fact, have that number. Let's get this done guys! My car also
bit the dust. We are now a one car family since it doesn't make sense to fix
it and cannot afford to buy another. Yet I'm excited about the money we'll
save. Mom and I will share her car. Ron has been talking about riding his
bike to work for a year. It's a great push for him. In the big scheme we
feel this is a good thing.
Phew. I think that's all that's on my brain
right now. Dave Dravecky spoke in church yesterday about contentment. Listen
to it for free at
http://scottsdalebible.com/sermons/contentment-in-a-christians-life. He's
got a powerful testimony. Not just because he was an Christian athlete who
got cancer either! I think you'll be blessed by what he shares about his
struggles.
Have a great week!
-------------------------------------
December
29, 2008
Stephanie writes at 12:36 am
I have woken up in the middle of the night
writing this post. There is so much I have been processing. However, our
heater downstairs is broken so I never left the comfort of my bed to get it
all down. It makes me understand why writers and artists have notebooks on
their nightstands. That would have come in handy the past couple nights! Now
I am waiting for the service man to come tell me what's wrong with the
heater. It's really cold! We are thankful the upstairs one works. It has
also spurred me to do a lot of baking to warm up the kitchen!
Last night the message at church was great.
Jason preached and he is the High School leader. My kids love pulling up his
videos on you tube - they are way, way too funny. Anyway, I could relate to
his opening comment that he loves everything about Christmas but feels a
let-down the day after. There's certainly a lot of negative - it's a choice
to look at the positive! How do we keep that hope and spirit alive? Usually
I don't feel depressed after because I'm at the mall spending my gift cards on
the after Christmas sales!! Yet this year was different for me. There was a
deep sadness regarding Ron's family. His dad came down from Flagstaff on
Wednesday afternoon and stayed until Saturday morning. We really appreciate
the fact that he comes to see us and makes an effort at a relationship with
us. Ron called his parents the week before the holiday and invited them to
come to our house to celebrate. His mom let him know, in no uncertain terms,
that she does not celebrate Christmas and doesn't want to be around people who
do. We respect that decision but try to explain to three children why their
grandmother and uncle don't want to see them! Fast forward - Christmas night
ended with me sobbing on the phone to my friend Sharon. She was having an
equally hard time so we cried together. That's what girlfriends are for -
right?! Our family had gone to a movie and had a great time. Then Ron
mentioned that his aunt & uncle had invited us to stop by their house. They
are wonderful people who have always opened their home to Ron. He always says
how much he appreciates their gestures. We drove over and were welcomed -
even though to my horror we hadn't called to make them aware of our arrival.
His aunt pulled out a bunch of photos she had from Ron's childhood. We all
had a good time laughing at the styles from the 70's! The sad part for me
came from a lot of the energy in the room, plus some.
The kids rode home in Ed's car so Ron and I were
alone. That's when I started crying. Ron thanked me for going over to their
house. I was overcome with sadness because he shouldn't thank me for visiting
his family. You know? I want to spend time with them. They are enjoyable
people! Families aren't perfect but isn't there an emotional growth that
occurs when we learn to get along with others? If we write people off because
something is awkward or we got our feelings hurt....what do we learn?
Bitterness grows in our hearts and nothing good can come from that. Our world
gets smaller and smaller. I believe that people come into our lives for a
reason. It can be a lifetime relationship, a short term relationship, or a
brief encounter. When we got home I went upstairs and called Sharon. Spared
Ron some of my heartache. There had been an elephant in our house and it was
suffocating me. I do not do well at all when I cannot express myself
honestly. Let's just say it's not pretty!
Okay, so why am I sharing this with you? This is
my journal. I spend a lot of time talking about faith, hope, and joy. About
finding these things in hard situations. Some of you may get the impression
that I have an easy time with relationships, and most of the time that's
true. Yet there are people in my life who have caused deep pain. And we all
have those people in our lives. But I'm trying to not let those hurts take
root. Because if that happens, don't I become just like the person who hurt
me? Isn't it a domino effect? Unless the cycle is stopped it can go on for
generations! One thing that has become very important to me is having honest
relationships. We have gotten away from that in our culture. There's this
glossing over of the tough issues....a tolerance mentality. My challenge to
you this next year is to give someone in your life permission to be honest
with you. Should you really want to go out on a limb - give that license to
a person you know will provoke growth within you! It would be easy to pick a
"yes" man. A friend who always tells you what you want to hear! I think
there could be powerful changes in us all if we lived more honestly. Will
Smith has been in all facets of the media lately. I've appreciated a couple
of things he's said. One comment involved something his grandmother told
him. Basically she said her purpose was to make the lives of the people she
came in contact with a little better. It could have been a family member, a
store clerk, a child. Isn't that a good philosophy? It's in line with the
golden rule - "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Jason
spoke about exaltation and exhortation. That we must encourage one another
but also there are times we need to come alongside someone. He did a good job
describing the difference between the two actions. Lynnette is a person I run
things by because she has wonderful way of telling the truth. I know she'll
call me out if I'm being a baby! It's important to have "safe" people in our
lives.
We had a wonderful Christmas Eve. I don't want
to give the impression that the things I've talked about were the focus of
this Christmas. It was a side bar. We did things different regarding our
celebration. This year we went to my folks house for a delicious dinner, then
went to the service, and ended with dessert at our house and presents. It was
a late night but I like it this way better than opening presents before the
service. Ron and I both concentrated on the goodness of the season. The
things we are so thankful for - good friends, family, jobs, children who bring
huge joy to our lives. Friday Ron's dad had the great idea to take the kids
to see snow. They went up by Payson and went sledding. They had a fantastic
time then came home to a fire and warm meal. Leftovers my mom had brought by
plus some cheese and crackers. Saturday afternoon the Alianza girls arrived
at our door for an overnight. Ron and I left to fetch some ice cream for them
and received a phone call from Andrew. All I heard was Ron's side of the
conversation, which were one word comments. "Yes, no, no, NO!" Then "Your
mattresses? No." Okay, I was curious. What could be happening in our abode?
Apparently, they had devised a Slide O' Fun and it ran down our staircase.
Now I'll make this the short version...they waited until we got home and
showed us "how safe it was." The evening ended with both Ron and I going down
said Slide O' Fun. And yes, it lived up to its name!!! Mike and Maureen were
very, very quiet the next day when I related the children's activities.
Hee-hee! The girls took video of us going down and will post them on their
facebook pages. I'll post pictures on my page later today. The wonder of
technology!
Last night we went to In & Out Burger with the
Alianza and Snyder families. We stayed until 9:00 chatting and chomping on
fries. Ron and I love having these people in our lives. The eight children
all had a blast with each other. There are six girls and two boys between
us.
I meet with my new plastic surgeon on January
13th. Hopefully he will be more optimistic regarding my reconstruction. He
vacations with the doctor who was my first choice (but is no longer on my
insurance plan!). The second plastic surgeon I went to made the process sound
unbearable. Personally, I feel she didn't want to do it. Please pray that
clear advice is given to me. Right now I don't have a definite idea of when I
will have the procedure done.
It's a wonderful life! I want it to have purpose
and meaning. My prayer for all of you
this next year goes beyond safety and health. I pray for lives of depth.
Let's have a great year!!
-------------------------------------
December
15, 2008
Stephanie writes at 2:36 pm
I have gotten so much done today that it makes
me a little nervous! I told Lynnette that it makes me feel like I've
forgotten a To Do pile in my brain. You know the feeling? It could be the
season we're in but I'm not sure. I went to the dermatologist this morning
for a couple minor skin problems. Chemotherapy does a deal on that part of
you too. Mom drove to downtown Scottsdale with me and we went to breakfast
at Randy's afterwards. It's this cute little Mom & Pop restaurant. Did I
mention it's cheap? I got a mini 3 item omelet. Mom ate 1/2 my toast and a
couple bites of the potatoes since I can't have either of those foods.
Pretty fun. Then we drove to the American Cancer Society and dropped off
some things I had to donate. I dropped off one of my wigs, the prothesetics
that don't fit me anymore and a couple scarves. It felt good to get rid of
those things and hopefully someone else will get use out of them. Next stop
was home for me. Since then I've ordered pictures from Costco online,
bought two gifts online, answered emails, and written our Christmas letter.
Oh, and managed an eBay store I've opened for a friend. See, I'm scaring
myself!!
I do
have a prayer request. It seems the pain has come back from the port.
I am grateful that
the cortisone shot lasted six months but I was hoping to only have to have
one! It looks like there will be another trip to the plastic surgeon. Boo-hoo.
The good news is that I know it will take the pain away instantly. I'm
clinging to that knowledge.
Yesterday was my parents 52nd anniversary. Wow
- that's a lot of years! We celebrated by going to brunch at the Camelback
Golf Club. Alice and Andrew both volunteer at the 11:15 service on Sundays
so we ended up all going to church at the same time. It was fun to sit next
to mom & dad during the service. Can't remember when we last did that. I
loved Joe Bubar's comment about his Christmas tie. Very witty!! I can't
imagine how sick of it he was after 4 Christmas concerts and 2 church
services. I think it was time to put it in his pocket! A wonderful man
talked to me after church. He has gone through chemo, etc and took the time
to tell me to go easy on myself. Let go of expectations I may still have.
It was really encouraging and I appreciate that he took the time to
encourage me. Sometimes I'm so focused on congratulation myself for how
good I'm doing and I don't take the opportunity to rest. Or acknowledge
that I still need to take a break!
Alice has started volunteering at Just Moved.
(www.justmoved.org) She goes in on
Tuesdays after she gets out of school. The women there make her feel so
loved. Alice can't wait for those afternoons! Who wouldn't!? Please pray
my kid's stay healthy during this season. We're trying to do all the right
things to avoid it.
Andrew is taller than me! That's quite an
accomplishment since I'm almost six feet. He's feeling the need for more
freedom these days. He and his friend have been riding their bikes a lot.
I remember those days - where you start spreading your wings. It's a little
new to us though because Alice tends to be a homebody.
It's time to get Jenny & Andrew from the bus.
I wanted to give you a little update.
Things are good. This month
brings a lot of feelings to the surface for me. I'm trying to process them
and come to terms with some things. My last chemo treatment was December
17th last year - although the effects from that round lasted over two
weeks. I am at a different place - thank God!! But I do feel a little
weepy about some things and am learning that's okay.
My hope for you is that you are finding a
special JOY this Christmas Season. It is easy to get caught up in the
"busyness" or even in our own disappointment. Maybe things don't look the
way you want them too, maybe your life has changed in ways you didn't
expect. I pray you can plug in to God and find your answers through the One
who wants the best for us. Truly, sometimes the best happens in us when we
are closest to Him.
I'll leave you with a little blurb from an
article I read by John Gattuso. It put into words so well what I was trying
to say a couple months ago.
"Are we to understand, then, that prayer is a method of
influencing events that are beyond our control, a way to convince God to
tip the scales in our direction? The answer is an emphatic "no." As C.S.
Lewis points out, prayer shouldn't be confused with magic, a kind of
infallible gimmick" to win God's favor. He reminds us that even Jesus'
prayer in the garden of Gethsemane to "take this cup from me" was not
granted. This is not to say that prayer is pointless or it doesn't work,
only that it works on us rather than
for us....."
-------------------------------------
December
1, 2008
Stephanie writes at 4:06 pm
If God be our God, He will
give us peace in trouble. When there
is a storm without, He will make peace within. The world can
create trouble in peace, but God can create peace in trouble.
-- Thomas Watson
Ahhhh, it's that time of year again! I think
it's my favorite of all. Did you have a good time on Thursday with friends
and family around you? We sure did. Mom's cousin Brick (Brian) and his wife
Gloria came to dinner. Also, Alice's friend stayed for a long time. The
table was a bit loud with three teenagers. And Jenny. Boy, she was ON FIRE!
Maybe the two hour time out in the morning got her rested up for the remainder
of the day. She was not cooperating and then had the utter gall to yell that
this was the worst Thanksgiving ever! Well, you know that I didn't let that
one pass without assuring her that I knew what the worst Thanksgiving looked
like and it wasn't this year. You cannot compare having to clean you room and
chemo....really. I win. Don't you like how I pull that card out every once
in awhile?! Kahlil came over a little before we went to mom & dad's house.
The kid's played a couple video games to get warmed up for the challenge. We
then went to dinner. Mom and Alice did a great job! I'll tell you - I'm
thankful for my mother's cooking!! Paul gave me a lot of grief regarding my
contribution to the meal. That's okay because I can take it. After dinner
the kids went out to the backyard and played board games, then moved to the
front yard for a lively game of basketball. I have to brag a bit - they threw
me the ball when I wandered out to check on them. I made both shots! Who
knew the old girl had it in her! While the kids played the adults had a
chance to have a conversation. Ron had to go home because he wasn't feeling
great. Once we got home we had a Wii challenge. Kahlil beat me in tennis but
I made him work for it! They also played bowling before settling down to
watch an episode of House. (Not my favorite show - every other one has
someone with some sort of nasty cancer. But my family likes it.) I popped
some popcorn for everyone. Then Alice and I drove her friend home around 8
o'clock. It was a good day!
Today was the last day of the movement study I
was involved in. I certainly see the benefits of exercise after treatment.
On my walk today I realized how wonderful I feel. Harley (our puppy) and I
walked about 40 minutes. But I thought about my energy level, etc. The
difference is so refreshing. I made some Skorpa (Swedish toast) for Bunko
tonight and on the walk I was thinking of all the people I wanted to give some
to. Well, all of you really! But that made me realize how much energy I have
gotten back. Yea - I'm thankful!! The other exercise classes at the Piper
Center have been helpful as well. The teacher is a Holistic Nurse and I
really enjoy her perspective and input. A couple times I've been the only one
there and I have her all to myself. Makes me feel extremely spoiled!
We put up the tree and other decorations
yesterday. I adore it! Harley isn't sure what to make of all the changes.
He's a little confused but that tends to be his natural state of being! We
changed the tree a little. I have been working with one of my Bunko
buddies. She needed me to help put up decorations at the Marriott and we also
decorated the Camelback Inn with poinsettia's. I worked four days last week
for her. Three of the days were just for a couple hours...which is perfect
for me. I made some holiday cash. But putting up the trees at the
resort helped me get some ideas for my Christmas tree. I realized that mine
was a little boring! Now it's lit up and pretty.
My friend Rick has me
doing some selling on eBay for him which is also helping to bring in some
income. I don't have an overwhelming need to go out and get a real job. Not
sure there's even one out there!! But I love finding creative ways to help
out with the bills. Little by little is adds up!
That's all that's on my mind today.
My gratitude for all of the prayers
said on my behalf was overwhelming this year. Thank you for your
concern and love. Now let's all be careful out there! Those Holiday shoppers
can be crrrraaaaazzzyyy! Just let them go in front of you - it may give them
pause.
-------------------------------------
November 24, 2008
Stephanie writes at 5:56 pm
The person who has
stopped being thankful has fallen asleep in life.
-- Robert
Louis Stevenson
Who heard the sermon yesterday? Wow, he really,
really summed up the last year of my life! My father honored me by saying
that he thought of me during the sermon and felt that I had lived this out.
My quest now is what to do with what I learned through the suffering! The
sermon was titled Finding Joy in Pain and he looked at 1 Peter 4:12-19. I
encourage you to download it from
http://scottsdalebible.com/sermons/finding-joy-in-pain. The best sentence
was "JOY is the fuel for HOPE and the result of FAITH!" Awesome, awesome
message. He also touched on how the Holy Spirit rests on us. I'll tell you
something I'm thankful for this year - our new pastor and his family. Amen?!
I am tired tonight. One of my special bunco
buddies has a business and one of her clients is Marriott. She needed help
putting up the Christmas decorations at one of the resorts. And she asked if
I was available. Am I?! You bet! We worked for about 7 hours before I had
to go get Alice from school. There were three other people. Anyway, it was a
fun, productive day. The perfect job for me! Except now I'm way too tired to
do the dishes. I think it will be bath & bed. Ron is leaving for Bible Study
Fellowship in a minute or two and I think the kid's may retire early with me.
We didn't finish the work and I'm going to spend a couple hours with her again
tomorrow. Did I mention that I'm covered in green, red, and gold glitter.
Andrew asked if a unicorn had exploded near me!
Who's ready for Thursday? I'll tell you that I
am looking forward to it this year. Our Thanksgiving last year was tough. I
think I made it to the table for about 10 minutes before I had to plop down in
dad's chair. It was a hard, hard day and made me a little sad! This year we
will go to dad & mom's - of course. A classmate of Alice's will be joining us
at the table. Please pray that we are able to be a witness to him as he comes
from a Muslim home. Alice has know him since they were in third grade! We
are thankful that his family is allowing him to be with us. (They are out of
the country for the week.) He even wants to come over to our house a little
early to play a couple video games. I challenged him to a tennis game on the
Wii! It's on!
There is a lot to be thankful for this year. I
hope that you feel the same. We had dinner with the Houser's on Saturday
night. Is there anything better than good food, good friends, and great
conversation? I think not! Of course, we discussed the economy and all that
entails. Yet, we all felt thankful. My heart will be full on Thursday as I
meditate on all that God has done for me. I am so appreciative for all the
prayers that you have said on my behalf.
I pray that God blesses you this week, that you
find peace and joy in your circumstances. May you look around your tables in
a couple of days and tell those around you how important they are in your
life.
Happy Thanksgiving!!
-------------------------------------
Well, it seems to be one step forward... You know the
saying! I continue to try to find my balance. Jennifer turned 10 on Monday.
She had the unabashed, sweet excitement that comes with youth! Dad painted
her room and nothing could have pleased her more. We are getting used to the
bright color! She brought brownies to school to share with her classmates.
Then we went to Oregano's for dinner with my parents. We suspect it is her
favorite place because they give you an ooey, gooey chocolate cookie
concoction for your birthday. The server was extremely nice to Jennifer.
When the check came Jennifer came up to me and said "You better give her a
really good tip!" We had a wonderful time and came in under budget! (Not
ordering drinks saved about $15 off our bill!) My grandma Lehsten used to
always say "Lord willing, next year..." I always rolled my eyes because I was
young and didn't understand that something could happen to derail our plans.
Now I get what she was saying. Last year my constant prayer was that God
would allow me to live to see my children grow up. I could not bear to think
of them having to lose their mother at a young age. (Especially since that
mother was me!!) It is just so tragic to me. So to see Jennifer turn nine
and now ten is especially meaningful.
Bible Study ended for the semester. Our group didn't feel
mournful because we are all going to continue in February. We'll be going
through Esther by Beth Moore. It's her brand, spanking new one. Yippeee! I
love my table. Each woman is so unique and special. I'm also excited because
I think I've talked Maureen and Lynnette into coming to the series. I've
tried to be subtle..oh that's kind of a lie...I've tried not to push them as
much as I wanted to. One cannot appear too eager! Got to let the Holy Spirit
work somewhere!! Anyway, Lynnette was in the group last year and everyone is
excited she may come back to us.
I had my yearly physical with my primary care doctor on
Monday. He was very happy to see how I've been doing and was extremely
encouraging. I have to follow up with a couple of the other doctors because
they haven't kept Dr. Rostan in the loop about my treatments. So, I've got to
make sure they send the latest ct scan & chest x-ray. So, I'm on the right
track. I'm trying very hard to get the last bit of weight off before the
holidays. I've always been a sprinter and now I'm learning to set my goals
farther out. It takes longer to reach them and that's tough for me. But I'm
gonna do it! It's mostly a matter of not getting distracted.
I haven't felt that I've had to go get a job quite yet.
Did I mention the restaurant closed? Anyway, I've sold some things on
craigslist. Terrye and I are planning a garage sale soon. God has provided
the income we need right now. I did pull up a Starbucks application online
the other day. That may be asking for trouble though - don't you think?! I
might have way too much fun there. The fact that everyone has been hit
by either the economy or life does bring some comfort. Everyone I know is
cutting back! I also feel this has been a good exercise - rather than feel
sorry for myself - it makes me appreciate what I have. (Which may be why I'm
eyeballing Starbucks! I want to have the opportunity to appreciate it more!)
Please pray that Ron's job continues to be (somewhat)
secure. He had to lay someone off last week and that made him really sad.
(It was a performance issue not necessarily an economic one.) The company is
great though. They are certainly shaving expenses but seem to be intent on
keeping the people they have. So many people have lost their jobs or have had
to shutter their companies. We just need to pray for everybody, don't we?!
It makes me grateful because even if you feel like the wind has been knocked
out of you - there's always someone with a sadder tale. I felt that when I
was in treatment. You know? Maybe I was having a slow day but I wasn't
down. There would be someone in chemo having a rougher time. Doesn't mean I
didn't get my day to be the one on the bottom of the pile but it made me look
at what I had instead of what I didn't.
There aren't any doctor appointments coming up. I'm just
trudging along. The movement classes have helped a lot. I'm also walking
every other day with one of the young women in our home fellowship group.
It's fun to walk together in the early mornings! It seems that everything
I've read points to diet and exercise regarding reoccurrence. Doesn't mean it
won't happen but there certainly seems to be indications that it helps. I'm
learning to be prudent!
I'll try to be on time next week. This Monday was all
Jenny, all day. I'm sure you understand! Thanks for your faithfulness in
praying for us!
For All the Blessings of the Year - Albert Hutchinson
For all the blessings of the
year,
for all the friends we hold
so dear,
for peace on earth, both far
and near,
We thank you Lord.
For life and death, those
common things,
Which every day and hour
brings,
For home, where our affection
clings,
We thank you Lord.
For love of Thine which never
tire,
Which all our better thought
inspires,
And warms our lives with
heav'nly fires,
We thank you Lord.
-------------------------------------
November 12, 2008
Stephanie writes at 5:25 pm
Life is not a box of chocolates - it's a
rollercoaster! Monday Alice was picked up from school early due to extreme
stomach pains. She fell asleep for several hours but woke up with cramps.
We took her to the Urgent Care. They basically said - it has to get worse
before we treat anything. So we went back home. Tuesday morning her
pediatrician called saying he wanted to check her out. Off we went to see
him! Thankfully, he ruled out an appendix attack. Since she had all that
surgery at birth we are not exactly sure where all of her innards are
located! She also has an increased risk of bowel obstructions and
adhesions. At the end of it all he thinks that she had a stomach bug that
was making her cramp. She perked up by last night. It was a bit scary to
think that she may have had appendicitis! 1.) I don't want her to be sick
or have an operation and 2.) any more medical bills would sink this ship!
It made me really ask myself - Do I trust God to provide? Isn't that just
human nature? Last year He had me on my knees. I couldn't put my faith in
anything but God. Yet, how quickly do I start to try to figure stuff out on
my own again?! And I am trying really, really hard to listen.
Jenny is home from school today with a cold.
Tis the season, right? She'll go back to school tomorrow. It was one of
those deals where she wasn't up to going to school but not sick enough to
stay in bed all day.
Ron's dad was here this weekend. We had a nice
visit. I give him a lot of credit for trying to mend some relationships.
The kids love spending time with him. They had a ton of fun playing bowling
on the Wii. Ed bought a little chocolate cake at Chompie's for Jenny and
sang to her. She beamed! He enjoyed going to church with us on Sunday
night. It was cool to give him a peek into our world.
I'm still working on this nutrition plan. I'm
going slower than I thought I would and it gets frustrating. These last ten
pounds seem to not want to come off. Please pray I continue to be
vigilant! Sometimes you just want a donut! Problem is I grew up in a
family that had good taste in food! I'm sure my relatives would agree - the
women in our family can cook! Of course, I didn't inherit the love of
cooking but I can sniff out fresh bread from miles away! Anyway, I'm ready
to get on the maintenance part of the deal.
Guess that's it. Andrew's foraging for food
before going to church. I'd better go whip something up before he tears
apart the cupboards. You know how a teenage boy can be!! Thanks for
checking in with us.
-------------------------------------
Monday, November 3, 2008
Stephanie writes at 3:29 pm
You all are so patient with me! No news is good
news - right?! Things are going very well.
I continue to pray for guidance regarding when to do the reconstruction
surgery and who will do that surgery. I swear to you that I am not
excited about having drains again! That certainly takes the wind out of my
sails! We have seen big changes in the radiated area so I think my decision
to wait for right now is a good one. It is amazing to me how little I care
about not having breasts....or not.
Ron and I finished helping out in the
pre-marriage class. It was six weeks and we met on Sundays. Our small group
came over on Saturday for dessert and we all had a great time. I loved that
no one knew I'd gone through cancer treatment. It didn't come up so I didn't
share. First time in over a year that the issue wasn't important. I liked
that because I don't want to be defined by it - just empowered!
Crazy me decided last week that I could trim all
the bushes, etc. Watch out when I get ahold of the electric trimmer. Several
bushes ended up getting cut all the way down. Oh my, at least they'll grow
back! Well, mom & dad came over Saturday morning and "cleaned up." We got a
couple pots planted with flowers. We moved the patio furniture around and it
looks so much better.
I've signed up to be a part of several focus
groups. A little way to earn some cash for the medical bills. The restaurant
closed a couple weeks ago (did I share that already?) and I don't have the
motivation to seek a replacement part- time, part-time (!) job! Plus, I'm
really trying to hear God's voice regarding this issue. Do I run out and try
to fix it or do I trust Him to guide me? Tough sometimes because I have great,
fun plans!!
Please
pray for Jenny. She is struggling with school right now. Her biggest
problem is organization. Surprise!! We are praying she figures things out
quickly. She is such a stinker - had us laughing uproariously last night.
What would we do without her sunshine?!
Speaking of last night - what an awesome
sermon! We went to In & Out after church with the Snyder's & Alianza's. How
fun it was to take over half of the outside tables with our party of
fourteen! The adults had a great discussion about the kid's and they didn't
even know it. They were too busy having a blast! Don't you love
conversation? Don't you love communication & the sharing of ideas? I do!
We're probably paying the price with grumpy kids today but it was worth it!
Somehow Andrew got a 100% on the diorama he threw together at 10 pm. Reminds
me of a quote "If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done." ~
Unknown
Also,
please pray for my energy level. I seem to have hit a bit of a wall.
It could be a combo of this nutrition plan and the residual effects of my
treatment. It's like two steps forward, two back. I guess I'm still trying
to find the balance. Trying to say no to what I need to say no to.
Well, it's bunko night tonight. I'm looking
forward to seeing everyone since I couldn't go to the last one and we took a
break before that. It will be fun to catch up with everyone's lives.
That's it for now. It will be interesting to see
what tomorrow will bring. I'm sure you all have voted or are going to the
polls tomorrow. Jill gave me a bracelet before chemo that says "All shall be
well." I believe that to be true for everything!
-------------------------------------
, October 21, 2008
Stephanie writes at 4:22 pm
Phew! It's over.
Thank you all for praying about my
short talk this morning. I felt so loved and secure. Mavis suggested
that I post what I spoke about today. She was so sweet to come over yesterday
and help me practice on her. I'm also very greatful to the few friends I
emailed it to - your opinions matter to me! I've got so much always going on
in my head....it's hard to write something that actually has to have a
beginning, middle, and end. Last night I realized I was probably going to
have a microphone. It dawned on me - strange as it may seem to you (!)- I do
not have much experience with that sort of thing. My family laughed as I
grabbed a bottle of lotion (Aveda, Rosemary Mint - thank you Margaret!) and
began to go over my thoughts. We actually had a good time with it as a family
- belting out a few songs just because we could! Anyway, it went well. I
felt calmer than I thought I should have felt. However, my hand was shaking
like a leaf. I looked down at it as I was speaking and thought "well, that's
wierd. I don't feel shaky!" Probably the adrenaline, right?
Last year my group prayed and prayed that
someone's daughter & son-in-law would be able to adopt a baby. After over a
year of waiting a little girl was brought to them two months ago. Today after
Bible Study one of the ladies hosted a baby shower so that we all could share
in the joy of this birth. Wasn't that the perfect way for me to end my
morning! We rejoiced in the outcome of our prayers. Today Beth Moore
mentioned that sometimes we do not get to see the fruit of our prayers. It
makes me really want to celebrate when we do!! The ladies at my table in
Bible Study mean the world to me. I appreciate each one of them and the
wisdom they share with me and the group.
The one thing I'll explain before pasting the
"speech" is that I had a wonderful picture on the screen above me. My dad
bought the print for me this summer. It is by Thomas Barbey and
the link is
http://thomasbarbey.com/nflash/detail.cfm?pid=59. ( It's titled
Absolute Faith.) This really spoke to me the first time I saw it. I thought
"That is my past year, that
is my future." I fell in love with it. At the end of my talk I explained,
briefly, the picture.
Here's what I shared ~
"Last week we heard about a mother
praying for the salvation of her son. I want to tell you
how people prayed for me. My family and friends started
praying for me the moment I told them I’d found a lump. As
word of my diagnosis spread more and more believer's added me to their prayer
list. People came to our home and prayed over me.
Decisions were made, we prayed. The prayers of my dear friend on her knees
during my mastectomy left my non-believing friend in awe. My own prayer
brought angels to my dark hospital room as my husband and mother slept nearby.
There is power when people are praying
for you. Prayer’s a little tricky. When we pray in faith
we know that God already knows the outcome. So then, how
do we come before a God like that? I don’t believe He has
a counter and prayers are answered positively when the magic number of
petitions comes in. He allows troubles to come into our
lives because that suffering will give glory to Him. I know that some of you
have prayed & God either answered in a way you didn’t agree with or maybe He
has you waiting. Maybe you feel like you haven’t gotten an
answer either way. My prayer at fourteen was that my
sister would be cured of her cancer. God chose to take her
home to be with him. Yet twenty-four years later she ministered to me during
the darkest time in my life. Something Beth Moore said in
A Woman’s Heart really spoke to me.
She said that “sometimes healing takes longer than people think it
should. Christ is the only one who can go the length and
the depth with us.”
God listens to our prayers.
Jesus is sitting at God’s right hand whispering our names into His
Fathers ear. Jesus Himself petitions for us.
Hebrews 7:25 says “Hence, also, He is able
to save forever those who draw near to God through Him, since He always lives
to make intercession for them.” Isn’t that powerful?
Doesn’t that comfort you today? There was one particular day during
chemo that I could not speak. That’s hard for many of you
to believe and I’ll admit it frightened me too! Yet I took
refuge in the fact that people we’re lifting me up even though I was too weak
to do it myself.
The day I found the tumor Satan
snickered but God knew how it was going to be used in my life.
I don’t want to minimize troubles. They’re painful.
I lost my breasts, my hair and my dignity. I was
poked, prodded, and medicated. Often heavily medicated - Praise God!
I couldn’t run my household and had to depend on others to cook and
clean. While receiving radiation I chose to spend the time
praying for others. I prayed for an unborn child, a
friend’s marriage. I wept for someone’s mother and prayed
for another to have different biopsy results than mine.
God uses us when we are on our knees.
(Introduce the photo) My trial is not
over. It’s been seven months since radiation ended and my
body and soul is still recovering. I face at least one
other difficult surgery. My prayer for the rest of my life
will be that the cancer doesn’t return. But because of my
faith that God has a purpose for my life, because I know I’m covered in
prayer, I am freed up to live joyfully in Him. I can leap
off the tall buildings in life with a song in my heart and a smile on my face,
instead of standing, in fear, on the springboard."aaaaaaaaaa
Thanks for popping in and checking up on me.
Life, my friends, is good. God is better! You prayed me through....again!
You're awesome, period.
-------------------------------------
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Stephanie writes at 7:40 pm
Breast Cancer Awareness month is half over. Do
you think they'll take any of the pink stuff out of the stores or has it all
become permanent fixtures? "But Stephanie, lots of women find comfort in
it." I know, I know. I'm just ornery like that. I'm alive because of
donations & support. I am thankful for that. It just drives me crazy that I
could wallpaper my walls in pink ribbons or decorate my home with pink
appliances. Really. Can't these big companies just give? I'm done & probably
already in trouble here!
What's new, pussycat? I'm feeling great. We had
an awesome trip to Coronado last week. It went by entirely too fast! Several
things really hit me while we were there. The biggest is how much better I'm
doing. It was in Coronado last year that I saw how I was slowing down.
Although, we were grateful because the trip was possible at all! It was right
around the time that the chemo was making things tough for me. We enjoyed
ourselves but there was a heaviness. I also was dealing with the fear that
maybe that would be the last time I'd go. You know? My demise was a
possibility to me. Fast forward (please!!) to twelve months later - I'm able
to see how much I've healed. At home, in my daily life, I'm constantly
reminded of what I can't do & how my energy level lags. Yet, in California I
was able to see how far I've come. It was a biggie for me. We walked &
walked & walked some more. Mom cooked most of the meals for us. Who can
complain about that bonus?! Every year our treat is to go to a play at the
Lamb's Theater. Usually dad and mom go one night and we go the next evening.
Well, this year the adults all went together because the kids can be left
alone. (Thank goodness for the cheap seats!) Ron and I got the giggles within
the first half hour. Then we all burst out laughing during
intermission. There's really something so liberating about a dose of
uncontrollable laughter!! Don't you think? My Grandma Lehsten and her sisters
were a perfect example of how to have a rip roaring time. Although I do need
to be mindful of appropriateness!
Side note regarding healing ~ In Minnesota the
church service was about how prayer can move mountains. I believe it was on
Matthew 17:20. They gave us an envelope with a note card. We were to list
three things troubling us, things we were praying about. Then we sealed and
addressed the envelopes. They instructed us to put them in baskets and in
three months they'd be mailed to us. We would see how God was working on our
lives. Well....I got mine back about a month ago. Do you know that two of
the three petitions had been resolved!? The third will be my constant prayer
until the end of my days. Yet the first two were completely transformed.
Very encouraging! I would urge you to try it for yourself. Write down
what's breaking your back, tuck it away, and pray.
A couple weeks ago Beth Moore said something
interesting in her video. She challenged "Are you preparing for a powerful
work of God in your life? What kind of debris is standing in our
way..today..of God working powerfully in our life?" Mull it over.
On the beach Jenny saw part of my scar and cried
"They're tearing my mommy apart!" Sweet thing! Between the port scar, my
mastectomy scars & the appendectomy scars.....she's got a point. So we had a
talk about the purpose of these physical reminders.
Next week I'm giving a short talk on how
important prayer has been to me this past year. I'm asking this week
(appropriately, I might add) for prayer that God will give me the words to
say. Prayer is huge for me. I am saddened when people view it as a crutch or
weakness. Anyway, this is a huge step for me. Definitely out of my comfort
zone...and then about an extra five yards! I'll update again next Tuesday and
let you know how it all turns out.
That's it. Life moves us forward.
Thank you for praying for continued
healing! Thank you for praying about the nodule. However, I'm
thinking that maybe that's how God will keep me on my knees. He knows how
easily distracted I can be most times! As I wrote down my thoughts today of
what I want to say next week I was overcome with emotion. I had to call
Lynnette and talk things out for a couple minutes. It hit me really hard.
That feeling of pure gratefulness. I am not being flippant when I say how
much you've meant to me. It literally took my breath away today. You know,
I'm realizing how incredibly hard last year was for me. Maybe it was all the
medication - thank you Lord for that (!)- but in hindsight I see how I was
carried and comforted. It is incomprehensible to me at times.
Prayer brought people into my home. It brought
meals and payment for bills. Prayer brought angels to guard me while test,
labs, and ct scans were done. Prayer calmed my fears. It brought comfort and
relief. Prayers went up even as I went down! They were constant and
incessant. It held my tongue when I felt like a lab rat. Prayer helped me
laugh at the ridiculousness of my body. It helped me chose doctors to heal me
and ignore people who hurt me. Prayer helped me accept this altered reality.
Prayer made me confident and bold when pain wasn't ceasing. Prayer brought
faith. It is powerful and moving. No one can convince me otherwise. Prayer
brought hope.
"Rejoice
always:pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will
for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
-------------------------------------
September 26, 2008
Stephanie writes at 1:09 pm
It's Friday!! Sorry I went down a couple bunny trails this week and wasn't
able to update. You know how that goes. My appointment on Tuesday went pretty much
as I thought. He said I was doing everything right and he didn't need to tell
me anything else to do. Said the weight loss was great, skin looked good,
etc. There was one area of concern, at least for me. He said the nodule on
my lung was shrinking which is a good sign. However, I didn't know (or
remember) a nodule on my lung to worry about. I knew about the "spots" but
Rachael never called them nodules. Now I know what you're thinking...."Did
you ask him to explain?" You're going to be disappointed because I did not.
I figure that it's shrinking and that's all I need to know to make sense at
all?! It's just super overwhelming to sit in the little room and have your
well-being hanging there...in midair. Sometimes it's okay not to ask the hard
questions. So.....please pray that
the stupid nodule fades into the sunset. Now that I'm aware of
it we're going to pray it away! I'm over it.
It was a busy week. Sharon arrived on Thursday
morning. Aren't friendships wonderful. I love the ease that comes from
knowing someone a long time. She's a breath of fresh air to my very soul! We
even said last night that we think our conversation started up at the point we
left off. I'm extremely grateful for my friends & the relationships we've
cultivated.
Thanks for praying for mom & dad. They are home
safe and sound. It was a nice trip. Mom came over this morning and filled me
in on all the details. She came over first to help me get the kids off to
school and then return for a cup of Joe. Sharon slept and slept and slept. I
envy her sleeping abilities! (Okay, I have to add this quote by Shakespeare -
"Enjoy the honey-dew of slumber.") I got most of my "work" done
before she came downstairs and announced "I smell coffee." Since then we have
had breakfast and lounged by the pool. Not only did she get in - I went in as
well! Usually I never go in this late in the season. I was hoping she and I
could take some hikes but it's still a bit warm for that sort of thing. We'll
see. Tonight it's girl's night at Terrie's house. We'll make dinner and
watch a movie.
No more doctor visits for awhile. Let's all do a
jump for joy!! I have about 10 pounds I want to get rid of but am not worried
about that so much. I'm ready for a bit of calm.
Here's a quote I shared with my kids that you may
find interesting:
Do not be
too hard, lest you be broken:
do not be too soft, lest you be
squeezed." -
Ali bin Abe Taliban
-------------------------------------
Monday
– September 22, 2008
Stephanie writes at 5:51 pm
Today is going to be a short one. Things are
going very well. I told Ron that I have felt more energy this past week. I
think it may have something to do with the slow movement classes I've been
taking. You know I just want to get on the elliptical trainer and go to town
but I'm realizing that I just can't do it. It wears me out too much. Harley
and I have been enjoying a morning walk too.
Tomorrow I have see Dr. Isaacs at 4:00. I'm
nervous and I'm not. Does that make sense? There's always that teeny, tiny
voice in my head saying something's going to go wrong. Ugh! Overall I'm
doing so very well. Please pray I have peace tonight and that everything is
cool tomorrow. Thankfully, I have Bible Study in the morning. My mind won't
be on the dr. visit. Don't you love it when you don't have time to brood??!
That's all I've got this Monday. I'm planning to
update again tomorrow and I'm sure I'll have lots more to say. Surprised?!
-------------------------------------
Monday
– September 15, 2008
Stephanie writes at 9:28 am
Kindness is more important
than wisdom, and the recognition of
this is the beginning of wisdom.
-- Theodore Isaac Rubin
Phew - it's Monday!! Last week was way, way too
busy for me. It looks like the next couple days will be the same. The kids
informed me that Wednesday is a half day. Hmmm. The district has a calendar
that they send out to parents so this information should not be a shock to
me. However, I never seem to get on top of it! Yes, I have tried sitting
down with the calendar and entering it into my day timer.....and yet a couple
always sneak in to surprise me.
Last Tuesday was the first day of Bible Study at
Scottsdale Bible. I'm so excited to be back with my group. Our leader asked
me to be a table leader this year and I agreed. For those of you who know me
well you realize this is a big step for me! Most of the women at my table are
the same as last year. It's good to have a new face or two though as well.
Every Wednesday night in September I am taking a
nutrition class at the Piper Center. It is headed up (i.e. funded!) by the
Cancer Project. Everyone is welcome to take it - if you have any interest.
They offer the class quite often. Very informational not just for avoiding
cancer, but other major health issues as well. Of course, the first class I
came home and announced that we were becoming vegan. Andrew cheered!! No one
else shared his enthusiasm. The chef and the project promote being vegan but
the nutritionist w/ the Piper Center brings things into balance. Her main
objective is to add new foods to our diet rather than focus on what we are
taking out or reducing. Last week one of the people brought up sugar and
cancer. She had a lot to say about it and I was relieved. Several people
have come up to me regarding this issue and I've had to be very kind. Once
the person was holding a Coke (last time I checked it was loaded with sugar)
and the other time it was at a birthday party and she was eating a piece of
birthday cake. (Also loaded with said sugar!) My problem was this - you can
tell me that I need to get off all sugar or act surprised when I tell you my
oncologist hasn't taken me off sugar because I have had cancer. Yet this
doesn't apply to people who have not been diagnosed. Doesn't it make more
sense for everyone to lower their intake of sugar? That seems like a bigger
problem. And indeed, according to the nutritionist, that is the true issue.
Sugar doesn't cause cancer or act as an igniter. What fueled my cancer was
estrogen. Fat likes estrogen so I need to be mindful of the amount of fat I
have in my diet. Naturally, I will avoid heavy desserts. But for crying out
loud it doesn't mean I can never have crème brulee again! My warning is to be
careful what you tell people - especially those in treatment or those who have
recently completed treatment. Really. That may be a pamphlet that needs to
be written. Take cues from the person because it's a sensitive issue for may
of us! (And she exits stage left - sorry!) Anyway, in the class last week I
initiated a conversation with two breast cancer survivors. Big deal for me.
I had heard their conversation the week before so I knew some of their story.
They were really nice. Here's how God worked on me. I am having a hard time
appreciating my hair. I'm trying but it's been tough because I've always had
a lot of fun with my hair and now it's pretty much the same every day. Okay,
I know that it's growing, blah, blah, blah. Well, one of these ladies
completed treatment over eight months ago and not one hair has
grown back on her entire body. Suddenly, my curls become very
appealing. (Even though one of my tables on Friday night told me I had Lucy
hair. Yes, they did. And no, I've never seen them before. He just felt the
need to blurt that out!!) God shut my mouth about my hair! I'm going to like
it...it's a choice.
Thursday and Friday my dad painted two of our
bathrooms. Not one, two. Just because he can! Isn't that awesome? It meant
so much to me. Sharon, my roommate from High School, is coming on the 26th
and I really wanted the bathrooms spruced up. Not that I have any need to
impress her, you understand. Dad did a terrific job and they look much
better. Jennifer kept going in telling him what a great job he was doing.
She's such a little cheerleader!! My parents are leaving for Chicago (by way
of Minnesota) tomorrow. Please pray
for safe travel....and that I'll make it the ten days without them! It
was thoughtful of dad to get this project done in between trips.
Speaking of Jennifer - she had a huge
allergic reaction to something on Friday. She came bouncing off
the bus all happy but in the car she started screaming. She was saying her
throat hurt, I looked in the rearview mirror and saw it was very red. When we
got home her skin was bright and splotchy. I called the pediatrician and they
said they could see her in an hour. I took some pictures of the reaction and
gave her some benedryl. I was afraid that the rash would get better or go
away before the doctor saw her. It worked out well because he didn't get to
our room until 4:15! The rash came and went all weekend
long. She didn't have trouble breathing but it was a pretty severe reaction.
Please pray that she doesn't get this again! We may never know what
caused it.
This weekend Ron and I helped with the
pre-marriage class at SBC. The opening was Saturday morning and then class
began on Sunday. The sad part is that on Saturday afternoon we helped a
friend move out of her home. They are getting divorced and it makes me
extremely sad. I think it was really emotional for Ron and I to have the two
ends of the spectrum in one day. So, what did we do? We argued!! How does
that happen?!? Well, I know how it happens but can you believe it?!
Obviously, we worked through it and were laughing by nightfall.
What else? It seems like there's a lot I want to
share with you. I wish I were more organized in my ramblings! Oh, God
answered prayer for us last week. Remember that Alice and I spent the night
at my parents house? Well, my mom was talking to the neighbor. She said that
she hoped it didn't throw him to see a car in their driveway - knowing mom &
dad were out of town. She explained that since the kids have so much homework
we often need to use their computer. Are you ready for this? He had a
computer he was donating.....that day!! That afternoon a computer was
installed in our home. Yipppeeeeee! We are so grateful. I've tried several
times to save for a laptop - and I was almost there right before my
diagnosis. Yet it's all in God's time. It's a reminder to be patient I
think. We could have put a computer at the top of our priority list or
charged one with zero interest. But we would have missed out on the
blessing. I'm grateful once again!!
Now it's time for my movement class at the Piper
Center. They want me to be a part of the study even though my results won't
count. I'm going to try it but these types of things make me nervous.
Have a wonderful week and thanks for
checking in on me!!
-------------------------------------
September 8, 2008
Stephanie writes at 10:14 am
What a beautiful morning - don't you think?
Alice and I slept over at my folks house. She had a report to finish and it
got late. Mom and dad get home today from Seattle. I have to be honest and
say I'm really glad we didn't come home last night. Apparently Andrew threw
up violently around midnight. So, while I was very cozy in bed, Ron had to
spend about 2 hours cleaning the bathroom, etc. Nighttime vomiting is the
worst!! Ron did a great job and I did thank him profusely. Andrew is still
asleep and I suspect will continue to sleep most of the day. Jenny also has
something going on. She has had a sore throat and cough for a couple days.
No fever though. Please pray they
both get better soon. Also, we got a report back from Jenny's
teacher. She's having trouble getting organized in school. We had a long
talk this weekend and she's going to focus on getting her work done. We tend
not to be "helicopter parents." This has worked with the two older children
but it appears Jennifer needs some guidance. She came up with a plan and is
going to talk to her teacher today. Last year I think her teacher let her get
away with some things because of what we were going through at home. Fourth
grade is tougher regardless.
I seem to have had a hormone surge last week.
Everything/everybody was either getting on my nerves or wasting my time! Ever
feel like that? I was making a big deal out of things that probably didn't
require that much energy. Time management can be really important and I do
work hard at making the best use of my time. It's frustrating when things
don't go the way you planned and then more things don't go the way you want.
Hindsight shows me that maybe I should have changed the plans!! How hard do
you want to bang your head against a wall?! Oh well, I feel surprisingly calm
today....which is another reason I think there were chemicals involved. It's
a bit disappointing too because I thought I'd left some of those bad
actions/reactions behind. Now that I'm feeling much better and back to normal
my lack of patience seems to have returned! Got to keep working on that one I
guess. It takes a lot of work to slow down, doesn't it? Breathe in, breathe
out. Try not to yell at anyone in between breaths!! Breathe in, breathe out.
Well, the boy has emerged from his room. I can
hear him walking around upstairs. Time to make sure he's okay. That's all I
have to say for today anyway. Let's take this week slow, okay?
-------------------------------------
Tuesday
– September 2, 2008
Stephanie writes at 8:24 pm
By the grace of God
I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain . . .
—1 Corinthians 15:10
Wow the day is almost
over! I was working on real estate stuff most of the day. Found a place for
my friend to live. It was one of those moments where you just go "this is
it!" We had looked at a bunch of properties on Sunday and this was the last
one we were going to see. It's going to be perfect for her. She's going to
rent for a year so I learned a new aspect of the business! Yea!
Andrew came home from school and went to bed. We
tried to wake him for dinner but he's feeling too yucky. Hmmm. Did I tell
you he's running for President of Student Council? He made up stickers and
business cards. He's fearless in some ways! Please pray he feels better
soon.
For my Scottsdale prayer warriors - did you see
Dr. Kuske in the paper today? They talked about him in section SR. He's
awesome! My visit went well. He's pleased with the way I'm healing. He also
said it would be beneficial to wait until February to do reconstruction. I
could do it now but there are fewer complications the longer you wait. I
don't really feel a huge need to do it immediately. I think I'll know when
the time is right. I've learned to trust my instincts the past year! We
talked about a newer procedure - he knows the doctor who came up with it.
Problem is the man is in New Orleans! Another reason to wait is the financial
aspect. The appendectomy pushed us a bit over. Dr. Kuske also said I wasn't
the typical patient. Well, isn't that a surprise!?! The whole office is
wonderful. After my appointment I went over to the treatment rooms to see if
my favorite technician was there. She was and it took her a minute to
recognize me with my hair. You may remember we went to the same High School
in Minnesota. She was a year younger than me. Anyway, she's loving attending
Scottsdale Bible Church. La, la, la! I love these kinds of doctor visits!
How quickly vanity returns - just tell me how great I'm doing and that you're
glad to see me! No poking needles or nasty shots. My next appointment is
with Dr. Isaacs in about two weeks. Right before my friend Sharon comes for a
visit. (Yipppppeeeeee!) I will actually be seeing Dr. Isaacs instead of
Rachael, his physician assistant. They draw blood, which is a bummer.
Please
pray for safe travel for mom & dad. They are off for a mini trip to
Seattle. Can you believe they're going without us? Without me?! What?
Getting the kids to school will be a bit difficult. It really takes two of us
and Ron goes in early on Fridays. Alice needs to be there at 7:20. Oh well,
I'll figure it out. It pains me to think mom & dad will be trying to find
merriment without us in that terrible place. Poor things!
Bible study starts next week. I'm so excited.
Of course, another Beth Moore one for me. Also, I'm going to be a table
leader. Most of the table will be the same ladies as last year. It's going
to be extremely fun! Ron and I are also going to help with the marriage prep
class. It starts up in two weeks. Suddenly we are involved with all these
young couples! We've been having a great time with our home fellowship. It's
neat to see these newlyweds talking about things that are important to them.
I picked up a couple shifts at the restaurant.
Whenever Valerie has a conflict with her schedule she gives the hours to me.
It's going well. Be nice to your servers, they're people too. That's all I
have to say! I worked last Saturday night and had some
really amusing patrons. There's a mini story with each table. Some are
celebrating, some dating, and the occasional fight. Fascinating business. I
am working Friday and Saturday night this week.
Well, that's all for now. As always thanks for
checking in with me. Oh, thanks to my new set of internet friends. It is
still a bit crazy to me that people find this blog and actually read what I've
got to say. However, the encouragement I get from your emails is
unbelievable. Someone sent this verse today "Trust in the Lord with all your
heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him
and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6. They also said they
are lifting me every day in prayer. Wow. That, my friends, is cool! Happy
week!
-------------------------------------
Monday
– September 1, 2008
Stephanie writes at 7:28 pm
I am not going to write much today because I have
an appointment with Dr. Kuske tomorrow morning. He is my radiation oncologist
and I can't wait to see him. He's very cool.
Today was a great Labor Day! We got take out
Chinese and went to my parents house. Mom cooked a steak for me so I'd feel
like I was having a treat since I couldn't eat the take out. Then all seven
of us hopped in the pool for a couple volleyball games. It was really too
much fun! The surprise performer was my mom. She was all over that ball!
The scoring was flexible as our version of pool volleyball is very
"grace-based." Lots of do-overs. Half the time we were just trying to get
everybody ready for the serve. The other half of the time one of the kids
would be under the water!! Dad had the idea to put up the net and it was a
super one. Wasn't the weather great? We sat on the porch forever.
I put some beef short ribs in the crock pot this
morning but I don't think we'll eat them until tomorrow. Everyone is either
still full from lunch or lazy. Less work for me tomorrow!! We left Andrew
over at the folks. Ron is mowing the grass and the girls are reading.
Truthfully, I'm not going to be awake for much longer. I've been tired
lately.
When all
the pictures of our life are laid on the table, they will reveal our
recurring words and actions. What story will they tell? It’s worth
considering as we make our choices each day. —
David C. McCasland
Doesn't that make you pause for a minute? There are some
words I would take back and other times I wish I would have spoken up!
Anyway, it's something to ponder. Hope you all had a great weekend! That
extra day is so much fun, isn't it?! I'll update tomorrow after my
appointment. Oh, thanks for not giving me grief about missing a post last
week. I'm proud of your restraint!!
-------------------------------------
Monday
– August 18, 2008
Stephanie writes at 1:15 pm
Happiness is good health and a bad memory. ~ Ingrid Bergman
I have
good news! I have good news! I have good news! All the tests I have
had done the past couple weeks have come back clean. You do not know how much
more fun it is to write about those results than what I've had to share in the
past! My bone scan & CT scan were negative for malignancy. They just showed
radiation changes. Thank you very much. The ultrasound was fine and my
yearly checkup was clear. It is truly allllllllllll gooooooooood! I continue
praying and beseeching God that it stays that way. Yet I sit here today a
much happier person, with a cleared vision of what my life is and should be.
Obviously the past weeks have been strange for
me. I try not to dwell on what I was doing last year at this time. Really,
it's irrelevant because I'm clearly more interested in what I'm going to do
for the rest of my life! However, it is such a perfect measure of what God
has done for me. His blessing and His mercy is evident. In Morning By
Morning by Charles Spurgeon the verse for August 17th is "Remember,
O Lord, your great Mercy." (Psalm 25:6) I liked what he said
about this verse. He said "it is undeserved mercy. Deserved mercy is just
another name for justice." Isn't that cool? Yesterday in the sermon Pastor
Jamie spoke about the heart of God's people. His main point was that the
heart of the Church's activity toward each other is love. Reference I Peter
1:22. I think this has been a theme in a lot of what I've been mulling over
the past year. 1) God's deep love for me as an individual 2) My
responsibility to mirror that love to others. How I respond to someone will
often change their behavior towards me. And I was a pretty conscientious
person before having to deal with the medical community. I had a handle on
personal communication. Now though, I have a better understanding of how it
relates to the church. One of the things I knew early on in this process was
that God was going to show me the beauty of His community. Truthfully, I'd
really lowered my expectations for Christians. I didn't have very high
standards to how they treated or interacted with me or each other. The
concept of love in our society has been played out. There is usually a price
to it. I've been loved coupled with stipulations and it didn't feel very
good. As a Christian I should love with no strings attached. Pastor Jamie
said that we cannot claim that someone is too difficult because the Spirit
lives within us. (Okay, I still don't think it means we have to be best
friends! I don't think he was saying that either but he didn't give a
disclaimer.) Doesn't mean I might not bite the inside of my mouth while
being nice or that loving someone won't be really, really, really hard.
There's a level of respect too, don't you think? Anyway, I've gotten on this
soapbox before so I'll try not to be redundant. It's just always good to get
a reminder. So, back to the first sentence of the past few weeks being
weird. It is kind of like an undercurrent. Does that make sense? Like, I
thought on the kids first day of school that last year I was recovering from
major surgery. I instantly have gone to a place of deep gratefulness. That's
more of what it's been for me. How awesome it is that I can wake up and get
the kids to school! Last year Ron and my parents had to pick up so much
slack. To not have the dread (at least not regularly) of another Doctors
appointment....where they might find something worse than they anticipated. I
am extremely mindful of the light at the end of this tunnel. Recurrence will
always be possibility but I don't believe my life will be shortened. Being
treated for breast cancer just gave me a stronger taste of mortality. The
truth is we live daily on a delicate thread between living and dying. Each
one of us. Understanding that reality should make it easier for us to love as
God loves. Maybe? Because if we live knowing we may not have much time, most
things won't irritant us as much. You know? Sometimes I think I spend too
much time trying to figure people out. I am coming to realize that their
behavior doesn't make sense, I can't put them in a box or analyze them. It
doesn't matter why they act the way they do. It just doesn't. At
the end of my life, or at the end of the day- (whichever comes first!), I am
responsible for my actions. Bottom line. Mine and mine alone.
Thirteen months into this I have seen so many
blessings. My mind is filled with thankfulness towards the many people who
have prayed for us, made meals for us, cleaned for us, lent me movies and
books...the list goes on. It is better for me to focus on all I have rather
than obsess about the next doctor/hospital/lab bill. Doesn't mean I'm in
denial and doesn't mean I don't worry. It's what I choose to dwell
on that makes the difference. Everything is a process, isn't it? Jamie
suggested that we wake up each morning and ask God to help us love people
more. That His love be evident in us. I think that's a good idea. (http://www.scottsdalebible.com/AboutSBC_welcome.cfm is
the church website if you want to download his sermons.)
My next appointment is with Dr. Isaacs in
September. It's a check-up & he'll probably go over the scans in more
detail. Please pray the spots on my lungs are history & that I don't need to
worry about them. I'm thanking God that the appointments last week did not
stress me out as much. I've heard that each one becomes a little less
straining.
Last story for you all today - I wanted to join a
study of how movement affects recovery after treatment. My little way of
giving back - in a non threatening environment! Anyway, I've had a couple
phone interviews but last week I met with someone to get ready to start. My
understanding was that it would be a type of "exercise" class. I met all the
criteria, etc. except for the last part. They are going to introduce
meditation and see how that affects stress levels. However, since I already
meditate, she said I would have to audit the class. My reaction or results
would not be counted!! It struck me so funny. Here I am trying to get
plugged in and then I find out I've already incorporated what they are trying
to prove is beneficial. But I'm still tired!! Now I've got to find something
else to do. I have been avoiding the gym because I think it makes me sad. I
used to work out 4-5 days a week. To go in and only be able to do 20 minutes
on the treadmill will be depressing. I'd rather walk Harley around the block
& be happy! (New puppy, new habits, new health!) On a side note - they were
going to be taking my blood every so often to measure progress so I'm thrilled
that I won't have to participate in that area!
Have an awesome week!
-------------------------------------
Tuesday
– August 12, 2008
Stephanie writes at 9:00 am
Phew!
School is in! I would like to know why Alice had 1/2 day on the first day
of school. What is up with that?? It seems like they have a day off every
couple of weeks. Maybe it's me. Anyway, my head is filled with schedules &
shopping lists. Even though we shop for supplies before school starts they
come home every day with something else they need. I refuse to run to the
store for each request. Really, it borders on ridiculous.
My
ultrasound came back okay, which is happy news. That is a relief. Today I
go in for my CT scan & Bone scan. I am expecting positive results on those
as well. My injection is at 9:45. Blah, blah, blah. It was a year ago on
Saturday that I had my surgery. In some ways it feels like a much longer
time has past. I am thankful that I feel so good! Really, really
thankful. The port pain has not returned - hallelujah! There are little
things I wish were different but that's human nature, isn't it?! I expect
to be done with the strict part of my nutrition plan pretty soon. I have
less than twenty pounds to go. It hasn't been totally determined where I'll
end so it may even be less than I think. I'm hoping no more than six weeks.
Okay, I'll tell you about the bee I had in my
bonnet the other week. This is for informational purposes only. Mostly
because I want to get the word out. Last October I was fitted for a pair of
prosthetic breasts. (Stop reading now if this is too much information!)
Anyway, I wore them about 2x's for a couple different reasons. So, a couple
weeks ago I tried them on because I wanted to see if they were still
uncomfortable or if I just had a bad attitude. They were uncomfortable -
especially due to the weight loss. They seemed like missiles really.
Anyway, I called the Piper Center to see if they could help me. She fitted
me again and then told me to call in a couple days because they needed to
hear from my insurance company regarding benefits. Ron's company changed
insurance companies in May. Several days later I called and this is what
she told me - 1) they had approved the right breast only because that's
where the cancer was 2) I was responsible for 20% and these puppies aren't
cheap, my friends 3) the left breast would be my problem, what is it Charmin
to the rescue? 3) I was allowed 1 bra per calendar year - of which I'd pay
20%. My responsibility would be over $300! Easy decision for me - the kids
were starting school and their needs won. They suggested I call the
American Cancer Society because they help women get these sorts of things.
I
called them and they said "Sorry, you have insurance so we refer you to your
insurance company." However, the woman was very nice since I also mentioned
that I would donate my 1st pair (that had been paid for by insurance 100%)
and she said they'd get back to me to see how they could help. Two weeks -
no word back from them. Personally I have not had much help from them - you
may remember when Valerie and I drove all over the Valley looking for them.
They had given me the wrong address & it went from there! Anyway, I
digress! I went back to Piper Center and told them that I didn't care that
much whether I had them or not and my kids needed school supplies. Suddenly
they had a pair they could give to me for free. The woman was really,
really nice. I don't want you to get the wrong impression. My point is
that there are woman who identify with that part of their anatomy much more
than I do/did. I know I'm strong and will follow through with phone calls,
etc. My problem is that there are probably many women who would have gone
without because they don't want to push or think they have no choice.
That's what I get upset about. In hindsight I should have said my first
pair was uncomfortable back in October. I was still in treatment and that
wasn't important to me then....but it was still my responsibility. I cannot
believe that the insurance company says 1 bra per year. Hellllllloooooooo.
The bras are expensive too - around $70 each. Okay, I'm done. It seems
like a little thing but it's a big deal. Again, I don't care so much
because now I haven't even worn my new pair. There's a part of me that
finds not having to deal with them freeing. But it seems unfair for
women to whom that is important. That you have to jump through hoops. It's
exhausting. The whole right breast only thing will get me going on a
different vein! I chose to have both breasts removed because there is a 50%
chance it would go into the second breast. My nurse friends see this every
day in surgery. I didn't want to live with that kind of worry and it seems
cost effective in the long run. Don't you think?! Now I'm really done.
Just giving you something to think about!
Ron had a great 45th birthday this weekend.
Trust me, it was better than last year!! Yesterday they surprised him with
a cake and I thought that was nice. The kids are all excited for the new
year. Everyone is happy with their teachers. Andrew said all the bullies
are gone this year. Interesting. Maybe the principle found a way to get
rid of them.
That was not very much fun last year, was it?! Alice starts every day at
7:30 with psychology. Good morning! I think she'll love it though. Three
days a week she won't get picked up until 4:15. That makes for a long day.
Jenny is already working on a book for her teacher. She's got it all
planned out. The working title is "Why school is so great!"
Mom is
going to pick me up here in a minute or two. Thanks for letting me ramble
so I didn't have to think about these tests!! Oh, one more thing. To all
of you who got your mammagrams after my diagnosis.....it's that time of year
again. I have one firend I'm beginning to stalk because she's nervous this
year. Knowing is better and so is peace of mind. Trust me. That's all!
-------------------------------------
Wednesday
– August 6, 2008
Stephanie writes at 8:35 pm
Hi all! Hopefully those of you with AZ kids are
making it through this last week of summer! Boy, this week has been busy.
Andrew went to camp last weekend with the church youth group. He had a
fantastic time. Although he came back on Tuesday very tired!
I actually worked all weekend at Zest. My friend
Valerie went on vacation so I picked up her shifts to make some extra cash.
It was actually really fun but I don't want to be on the regular schedule.
The girls and Ron had a couple fun nights at home. Lots of board games were
played! This week my parents are at a conference at the AZ Grand Hotel. We
used their pool passes and crashed the pool yesterday and today. They have
three slides and a long, lazy river. The kids had a blast! I cannot remember
the last time I had such a mellow summer! It's been nice. My legs hurt from
walking up all the stairs to get to the slide.....you know I went on them!
The deal with Ron tonight was that if he took
Andrew school shopping then I'd help Jenny clean up her pit of a room. It was
totally out of control. So much so that it was even getting on her nerves!
Plus it was starting to spill out into other areas of the house. Now Ron is
still supply shopping and I'm all done. Personally I think I got the easier
job.
I
have a couple prayer requests. Today I had my yearly physical. She
said she wanted to do a pelvic ultrasound. Great, I got out of mammograms but
get a bonus ultrasound. Yea! (Please insert mental unhappy face here!) It's
not a big deal but I get nervous.
Please pray that there is no sign of cervical cancer & everything is cool.
I tried to make sure it was necessary by letting her know I am going for a CT
scan and bone scan next week. She said she still thought I should have it
done because the ultrasound will show more than the CT scan. Oh for crying
out loud. Anyway, I don't think it involves any poking with needles.
Please also start praying about my
stuff next week. It's on Tuesday and will last a good part of the day. Pray
for a clean report with nothing new! I want to be done!! I'll meet
with Dr. Isaac's in September to discuss the results.
Ron
turns 45 on Sunday. I am pawning the children off for a couple of days! He
got gypped last year because my mastectomy was on the 9th. I have a couple
things up my sleeve to make the weekend fun for him. He's very easy to please
in that regard. Then Sunday evening we'll get the kids prepared for the first
day of school. Kind of cutting it close, don't you think?! Actually, I want
most of it done by Friday - that's my goal.
Oh, I've got to tell you my frustrating insurance
story. But that will have to be next posting. I just heard the garage door
go up - the shopping is complete....I hope!
Please
pray there are no surprises for me the next couple weeks. I hate these
follow-up tests. Seriously hate the stress they induce.
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